Blogs


Notices

Awkward situation

Old 09-12-2011, 10:56 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 27
Awkward situation

I haven't posted in a while as I have been in a pretty good place. I keep a safe distance (literally and figuratively) from my dad, who swings off and on from being a "functioning alcoholic."

We were all supposed to meet up for a family reunion recently. He got into an argument that I did not witness, with another family member. There were some accusations thrown about his drinking. So he left the reunion in a big huff -- basically threw a big F you to everyone who had gathered there because his pride was hurt. I thought this was pretty ridiculous.

Since then he's sent a bunch of emails about how he "couldn't" stay, "had to" leave, "was forced" to exit the situation, etc. Basically typical alcoholic, not-my-fault BS. Now he wants to talk about it. With anyone else I would simply stay out of it since it is not my business. With him, my rule with myself is to be completely honest about how I feel about things (in a respectful way, of course). So I'm not sure how to reconcile those things.

This is a bit of a stream of consciousness, but it's something I've been wrestling with. Interested to know how others have handled similar situations.
daughter333 is offline  
Old 09-13-2011, 04:44 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
peaceful seabird
 
Pelican's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
I learned an effective way of communicating my feelings here at SR:

Say what you mean,
Mean what you say, but
Don't say it mean.
Pelican is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Pelican For This Useful Post:
daughter333 (09-13-2011), GettingBy (09-13-2011), KittyCopes (09-13-2011), m1k3 (09-13-2011), Seren (09-13-2011), wellnowwhat (09-13-2011)
Old 09-13-2011, 05:38 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Seren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,605
Blog Entries: 8
I, too, used to think I had to referee my family's arguments until I finally learned that they did not need me to be the peace keeper, and I did not need the ulcers from taking on their drama......

It is much more peaceful for me now!

Hugs, HG
Seren is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Seren For This Useful Post:
daughter333 (09-13-2011)
Old 09-13-2011, 05:45 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
GettingBy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
I have long wanted to talk to my Dad and my AH about their drinking/behavior. I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted to say and how i wanted to say it. For me, every time I felt an urge to talk... I began to realize (with the help of Al-anon) that I didn't really want to just talk. I wanted to invoke change in the other person.

Today, I check my motives before I open my mouth. WAIT... Why am I talking?
GettingBy is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to GettingBy For This Useful Post:
daughter333 (09-13-2011), wellnowwhat (09-13-2011)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:30 PM.