I have long wanted to talk to my Dad and my AH about their drinking/behavior. I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted to say and how i wanted to say it. For me, every time I felt an urge to talk... I began to realize (with the help of Al-anon) that I didn't really want to just talk. I wanted to invoke change in the other person.
Today, I check my motives before I open my mouth. WAIT... Why am I talking?