Dalloway

Hello. I haven't been here in a while. I used to come here when my husband was drinking a lot. He has been sober for a few years with a few relapses. I have tried to do the work, read a lot, a few meetings but not a regular I admit. The relapses came when we were in stressful times...when I had cancer, when my dad died, when I travelled for work for a week and needed him to be a good father (a friend ended up taking our kids to her house). But this post is about me. Someone in another post wrote about becoming an empty shell. Even when times are good and he is being a responsible partner I feel I have missed out on life...I can't make a change about anything because I feel like I need to play it all safe. I feel bitter and mostly sad about the woman I have become. She is nervous and lonely and not open but sort of closed off and prone to sadness when done with life's demands of the day. We have not come to any agreement about how to heal our marriage. He recently told me that he can't take the blame, not for everything and not forever. And he is right and I am feeling broken.

luli2979

Sorry to hear that you feel broken, sad and empty.

Actually I am feeling exactly the same way. Just try to think in what will make you happy and don't hesitate in doing it.

Hugs!

FindingPeace1

have you thought about getting a therapist? That might help you heal.

Seeking Wisdom

So sorry to hear about your situation - it is a situation I can totally relate to.

Alcoholism takes such high toll ... and can greatly diminish the quality of day in and day out life. It seems like we are always living with uncertainty and fear of what will happen next. The drama and damage to those living with the alcoholic is immeasurable ... it steals precious years away that can never be replaced.

How to move on with your life and find a healthier and happier future varies from person to person and the unique hurdles they face. Sharing children many times means a life time connection to the alcoholic and ongoing stress about the effect on innocent children.

I hope you can find a way to navigate out of your depair, and find a strategy and plan that end that will bring you to a place of peace and serenity.

catlovermi

The pattern would appear to be that every time something that really matters happens in your life, he checks out and drinks.

So now that you know his pattern, is this the way you want to live your life?

CLMI