GettingBy

I was gently suggested to check out this list... and I couldn't believe how well it described where I have been over the past few weeks! I wanted to share because maybe somebody else out there could relate!

Co-dependent relapse symptoms
From a book called Choicemaking by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse

The symptoms are....

Fatigue: allowing ourselves to be overly tired and careless about our health.

Workaholism: Usually a sign that we are less effective than we should be. Sometimes this is true because we are overly tired or because we have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Workaholism can also reflect an avoidance of dealing with intimates in one’s life. The workaholic doesn’t have time to share, doesn’t have time to really listen to the spouse or children recite their needs. There’s always work to be done, another project to start.

Dishonesty: Little cover-ups, exaggerations, underestimations- all of which can grow into more elaborate forms of excuse-making.

Self-pity: Beginning to believe that one is a victim of bad luck instead of taking responsibility for poor choice making or use of time.

Frustrations: A sign that one is not feeling or expressing appropriate anger. It is also a sign that one feels blocked in ones goals, and might represent a low threshold for frustration, unrealistic expectations or poor coping skills-or all of these together.

Impatience: A sign that one ones to get back in the driver’s seat of control. Dissatisfaction with the pace of recovery, a feeling that things are not happening fast enough, not happening the way one wants them to happen.

Relaxing the Recovery Program: Letting up on the discipline of recovery. Not finding time for daily meditations, meetings, support groups. I’m okay now. When one forgets the mainstay of recovery, one stops recovering.

Setting Unreachable Goals: If we set goals that are unreachable, we set ourselves up for disappointment, which leads to frustration or to self-pity. We do not set out to stay sober today. Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.

Forgetting Gratitude: You have a choice of looking at the up side of life, or looking at the down side. Its not possible to feel gratitude and negativity at the same time.

Righteousness: Often, when things get better, one feels powerful, arrogant and better than those who are still struggling with their recovery. Unfortunately, in our righteousness, we tend to find it easier to remove a speck of dust from the eye of our neighbor than that the 2x4 out of our own.

GettingBy

For me... I've been doing a WHOLE lot of workaholism, fatigue, dishonesty, impatience, relaxing on my recovery program... and setting unreachable goals.

Basically... I've been unreasonable with myself and then when I haven't been able to reach the bar I set - I've hidden out, in shame, from everyone.

Ack. No good.

Sylvie66

Oh, yeah. On my bad days, this is me.. today was almost a bad day, but I managed to turn it around. I would add one more item to the list, that I find myself doing:
Obsessing. (What if? I could say that! Oh, that so-and-so! etcetc. )

I am trying to talk myself down, like you would an anxious horse. LOL! Fairly successful... another year and I'll be so much better at this new life!

- Sylvie

vujade

Oh. My. Goodness. I need to print that and put it on my refrigerator...and my bathroom mirror...and my computer screen...and my steering wheel...and my forehead. LOL

Thanks for sharing. That is awesome.

JACKRUSSELLGIRL

Isn't it weird how that happens. We think we are doing ok and slowly stop doing the things that keep us on the right path and BAM we can relapse. I wonder if there is a list on how to prevent a codie relapse so we can spare ourselves the pain again!

roxiestone

Thanks for the list. I find that obsessing is my first sign. Then wanting to take ACTION!

I need to practice the fine art of doing nothing with a clear head

skippernlilg

Your comments, above, made me Laugh. Out. Loud! lol

Then, I thought, "Ohhhh, good idea!"