outonalimb

Oh my...

My son (my only child) is away for a 4-day weekend with his aunt and uncle.

I have the house to all to myself.

I am in heaven.

I'm going to paint my kitchen today. I'm going to paint it a nice, sunny, cheerful shade of yellow.

I'm so happy and grateful for my humble but peaceful home.

See...I lost my marital home when I left my exah. It was a large, beautiful home on two acres on the lake. I thought it was my 'dream' home. It was so hard for me to move out and let go of the dreams I had for raising my son there.

Flash forward several years and here I am with my own home. It's half the size of my last one. It isn't on the lake. It's just a tiny little bungalow but its MINE and I have painted and sewed curtains and slipcovers and made it a really peaceful, cheerful, and restful place. I love every inch of it.

I relapsed and tried to reconcile with my exah last year. Little by little, I slipped back into the insanity. Five weeks ago, after months and months of turmoil and chaos, I evicted him. He was like a poison in my home...turning it into a place I hated....

He's gone and my wonderful home is back. So is the peace. And the joy. And I feel so grateful and happy.

My heart just overflows.

HP is good. He's very very very good.

Happy Memorial Day all!!

Mary

p.s. I've got an extra paint brush if any of ya'll are bored!!!

GettingBy

Thank you Outonalimb...

I'm letting go of what I thought was my "dream" home too. I was out on a bike ride this morning - scouting out a new home just for me. I was looking at cute little Village houses... older homes, filled with character and humility. I'm glad to see your post - it helps reinforce the hope for me.


I caught myself in a "relapse" over the past week. I started to believe that maybe my AH's conversation with a neighbor was going to get him to "see" the issues. But... it didn't... He came home completely drunk last night, came over to a party at our neighbor's house... ignored me and the kids, and continued to drink himself into oblivion.

Uh yeah... stupid, stupid me... thinking things could be different. Progress, not perfection I guess.

JACKRUSSELLGIRL

I love this psot because you are where I want be. THANKS!!

Alone22

I am just starting to entertain going this direction in life. It feels really, really scary right now. Letting go of all that could be but isn't, giving up on the dream is depressing. Your post really helps me to see that if this is my path someday I could be just like you, content and at peace.