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sad face. maybe OT..

Old 05-05-2011, 04:56 PM
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sad face. maybe OT..

back story: THE worst thing my husband has done since all this really started was drive two hours out of his way on the way to work to have a coffee date with his ex. i've always known there were some feeling still there...things weren't going amazing for us at the time..she's a drinker/druggy ho. he started messaging her while drunk.. made the date while drunk...but went to see her sober. this was 5 months ago... we have taljed about it some....i believe they didn't have sex. he wanted to see i there was anything still there between them because we were almost to the point of breaking up...he has a problem w/ being alone and has always jumped into a new relationship as soon as possible after a break up. well she confirmed all the rumors about her sleeping w/ his friends etc were true...(duh, i already told him they were.) so he was "really sad" and "realized what a terrible person she has always been" (again duhhhh). anyway we have been tryig to work through this. theres been no more contact. ok.

today HER bf messaged me. (i don't know him) he wanted to know if i had any info on what went on and if she "actually cheated" on him. well after talking he tells me that he's pretty sure she still loves him and his name is her password to email, facebook etc.

i don't know why but this fact really really hurts. they both still have some feelings for each other....i guess it is a first love thing? they dated when they were 16 and only for 6 months or so but she's always kinda been around...an issue i you will. they have the same birthday and always contact each other that day. gag.

i don't really want advise on this. just someone to vent to..maybe some comfort. like i said before i dont really have any family or really close friends to talk to...so sorry for posting so much about the same old crap

and yes i know al-anon...but i live in a small town and fear running into people i know...i'm not read for all this to go public
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Old 05-05-2011, 05:20 PM
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I would feel really badly too....He is not being considerate or respectful of YOUR feelings. He's YOUR husband, not hers...and he's texting and meeting another woman....Why does he think it's OK? and why do you allow yourself to be treated like this?

sometimes it just means you have to decide what is best for YOU.
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Old 05-05-2011, 06:48 PM
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You do understand that if you should run into someone 'you know' at an Alanon meeting that they are going through the same things you are and are also trying to work on themselves? Now why on earth would they spread that they saw you at an Alanon meeting? They wouldn't.

Alanon has the same principals of anonymity that AA does.

Just something else to consider.

Love and hugs,
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