GettingBy

Does anybody here watch that show? I have been since it started. And I was always so amazed that she stayed with her husband through all the crap...
Until last nights episode. She hit her bottom, and that was it. She was done.

I was watching it when AH came in and joined me. The whole episode was about them separating...Her telling the kids... Them asking about where they were going to live, etc. Hello, awkward to watch with AH! Even more awkward was the last scene where the husband comes to Alicia and begs for forgiveness, offers marriage counseling, etc... And she says no... He immediately flips to accusing her of cheating, and the whole conversation backslides. And ends with a stern goodbye.

I was watching it and I swear it was like watching AH and I during our last conversation last Monday. I was watching her and realized that it WAS okay to just say no. When you've had enough, you've had enough. And there comes a point when loving someone is just not a good reason to stay.

SomeoneElse

I watch that show and thought a lot of the same things! One of the things I love about the show is that she's out there taking care of herself after taking care of her husband for so long....a much different dynamic, I'm sure, than what many of us are going through, but it's still inspiring to see her grow into her own, strong, independent woman.

lillamy

Amen.

Haven't seen this show (ugh, don't know that I could stomach it, kwim?) but yes. When you hit that point, there is no going back. BTDT.

Buffalo66

I dont watch this show, but I got caught up in a few seasons of Californication...

I was so floored how this main alcoholic character Hank mirrored the more charismatic personality of my RAH, I even considered contacting the writer.

I had a similar experience with the Denis Leary show, Rescue ME.

The alcoholic character in that show, Tommy Gavin is so much more like the negative/psychotic element of the alcoholic. viewing for alanon members, LOL. It is really well written, etc.

As a matter of fact, the first few seasons of Rescue me should be required

blueblooms14

I LOVE that show! (But with the Stanley Cup playoffs under way, I've been busy- hehe) I am so glad you posted this! I'm going to have to catch it on On Demand. I love her character. From the start I loved her character- cautious, wary but steady, giving it her best efforts for her own sake and her kids' sake, not for his. And during that period of caution, she was building the personal foundation to be on her own, regardless of what he did. Oooh, goody! Can't wait to see the episode.

MsPINKAcres

never have seen the show ~ I have to admit the Title of the Show made me sick to my stomach!!

All those years of living with my ex ah ~ enabling him, denying myself basic self-care, not protecting our daughters from his unhealthy influences, providing him with all his basic finanical need, blah, blah, blah - and hearing a least 10 times a week - oh You are such a "Good Wife"
blech

Hope the writers don't allow her to "give in" to his sweet talk!

(and so grateful to have learned to live another way too!!! Now I truly understand the meaning of a Good wife, Good partner, and a good mate ~ it truly wasn't all my ex ah's fault - I had to learn to set those boundares too!)

PINK HUGS,
Rita

sillysquirrel

I have never watched this show. But, I find it VERY interesting that this is my "R"AH's favorite show! I have never thought about this before, but does anyone have any insight as to why he would be so caught up in this show? Seriously, he never misses an episode. I don't watch it.....I am usually in a different room working or spending time with my older kids when it is on. Now I feel like I need to see what it is all about! Why would he be so taken with it?

sillysquirrel

So, anyone who watches this show....any insight as to why my husband (who is a very angry, manipulative RAH) would be addicted to this show? Or just a coincidence?

GettingBy

Hey Silly Squirrel... I don't know why your RAH would like the show. I too was put off my the title of the show - and didn't really want to watch it. But after I saw the first episode, I liked it. Because it's not really about her "standing by her man" no matter what... sure, they stayed married, but as others pointed out... she kept putting one foot in front of the other, and did what she had to do, in spite of his decisions/mistakes/choices/etc. And I think like many of us, she accepted him as he was for as long as she could, and then realized - "This is unacceptable to me. I'm worthy of better."

FWIW - my AH hated the show at first... then he kind of started liking it... then went back to hating it after this last episode. Apparently it hit too close to home for him... that whole "facing reality" thing is just too much for him to bear.


Anyways... I'm curious to see what comes of the finale next week.

GettingBy

Rita - I agree wholeheartedly with that statement. I know for certain that my AH and I both played a part in the demise of our marriage. I'm no saint. I know that I have issues, and can be challenging to deal with. The problem in our marriage, like so many people here, is it's impossible to get to work on the relationship issues while the active alcoholism is going on.

I can make amends all I want to my AH right now... and in his stinkin' thinkin' he immediately interprets that as, "AHa! See SHE'S the problem!! Doesn't have anything to do with my DRINKING!!!"

So, for today, I'm working on forgiving him for all those things that hurt me. But forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting and going back for more. I will continue to work towards living alone so that I have the ability to more clearly focus on me and being the better person I know I can AND SHOULD be.