jayscott

Doing OK today. Wish I hadn't caught the kiddo's daycare cold, but goes with the territory, eh?

Met with the lawyer this morning to chat about what happens next. There's a little bit of paperwork to register with the court clerk and some stuff to fill out; next "big" milestone is a hearing for a motion to show cause in 6-8 weeks at which point temporary custody and support orders would be established if we haven't worked out an arrangement on our own before then.

And thanks tjp, it's definitely all about actions at this point. Yes, she's not drinking right now (day 3), but she's also not "recovering." She's in the house, by herself, watching TV. If she were going to a meeting or a therapist or an outpatient program or even an art class or a volunteering activity or something I would feel differently about her prognosis.

Shellcrusher

Hey jayscott.
I get very nervous with this kind of thinking but...it's my current position. My AW decided to get back into some of her art stuff. She gets a breather, gets out of the house, gets creative, lets her mind wander, etc. She's becoming a much more stable, consistent person. She's into her 3rd month of this and I can tell that she's doing better. Well, until something big happened and then she went on a weekend binge.

My point is, I see these times as very dangerous, seductive and they're very manipulative tools. It's like raising a Grizzly Bear from a cub to full size. They can generally behave but if and when they do snap, it's bad.

nodaybut2day

Agreed. I sincerely hope that you are documenting everything that's happening since her return from rehab. You need proof that she is continuing to drink.

zrx1200R

good for you. they say and do anything! don't they. you are not a traitor. this is part of the brainswashing. SHE IS THE FRACKING TRAITOR. Sorry, for yelling.

You did good. soon, give the ring back. this will help solidify it your mind as well as hers.

jrlcpl

Stay strong. I am going through a divoice with my STBXAW as well. She is currently in a sober living house and doing well, but I know in my heart that I am making the right decision for myself and 2 kids. It will get better with time. My stress level has decreased drastically since I made peace with my decision. You have to keep the focus on yourself and child. She made her choices, now it's time for you to make yours. Good luck and I will keep up with how things are going with you.

jayscott

I hear ya. I guess what I meant was that it's very easy to say there's nothing to hang a hat of hope on right now when she's not doing anything differently day-to-day than before she went to rehab. If she had come back home with even one different behavior to show for it, there would be that temptation to say "well, maybe she's made some progress."

nodaybut2day: I need to update my journal, but I did grab the receipt for the vodka bottle purchased 2 days out. Plus my mom was there, so legally I'm feeling pretty secure at the moment. But then again, I'm "just the dad" so who knows? Better safe than sorry.