transformyself

Sorry, I think I have pms

tjp613

These are all such awesome ideas!

I've also started journaling -- mostly because I have to keep some kind of record of my daughter's 'condition'. But every day I start off with naming one good thing that happened and one bad thing. I also need to add, "Today I feel...." I have trouble naming my feelings.

ACCEPTANCE has always been big for me, meaning I always have worked hard at that. It is a great tool (also a DBT skill: Radical Acceptance). I find acceptance leads pretty quickly to forgiveness, too. And we all know where forgiveness leads!! Straight to SERENITY!! YAY!!

I WISH I found housework relaxing!! HA! No, I wasn't blessed with that gene!

dstolt

Major coping skills for me would be:

Having a support group of people that really care about me.
The ability to pick the phone up and call, even when i feel uncomfortable.
ooo that's a good one, doing things even when I am uncomfortable that will benefit me.
Always having my car with me in case if I need to leave a bad situation at any time.
My sponsor
Praying to my HP while I'm driving alone, aka speaking outloud to get out what i need to.
Staying busy
Leaving any uncomfrortable situation
Working the steps
Attempting to be as honest as possible, so guilt doesn't build up inside of me.

nodaybut2day

All the drama in the world vanishes when you sit on the floor and play with a 2 year old. Their world is so simple and funny, and things change at a fast pace (for my daughter anyhow)...we sing songs, then colour all over grandpa's newspapers, then play with some playdough, then make a train with the kitchen chairs and sit Dora, Carebear, Doggie and Mommy on the train...

My DD has kept me from sinking into depressing many times.

DD aside, working out or doing some kind of physical activity (pilates, yoga, kickboxing, TANGO!) always melts the stress away.

And finally, repeating a line written by the author of the Artists' Way, Julia Cameron:
"Keep the drama on the stage or on the page"...it always reminds me that drama belongs on soap operas and not in my life.

stella27

I always do better when I am exercising. I have just started the couch-to-5k running program for the zillionth time. My anxiety goes down, my body feels better, my mind relaxes. It is great therapy for me.

passionfruit

I colored with crayons and kids coloring books for years with my kids up until about a couple years ago. Did it maybe 2x in the last two years. did not really know why i liked it just that I did.

Did not realize it could be therapeutic. did not know there were adult books......looks fun.......

Cant focus enough to do puzzles......takes everything I have to stay alive these days.....no focus on anything else. except alanon meetings........just keep hanging on to alanon meetings..........

tjp613

The thing with "coping skills" is that you need to be aware of what works, try new skills, and then stick with what works.

One of my daughter's skills is to be around beautiful things and places -- so we go to parks, museums, botanical gardens... she is a wonderful photographer. It helps her to get out of her depression and see beauty in the world. Bless her heart.

LifesALongSong

I'm not a fitness freak. At 200 pounds I'm not that graceful or fast ! Just like doing these things for my head. It works for me. Like to do all these solo, don't need any other distractions.
Like to go for a bike (pedal power) ride. Do some hills and breath hard.
Trail jog in the woods is great.
My all time favorite is going for a solo kayak paddle on a large lake for hours at a time. The stress just melts away !

pennywistle

Great thread! I like vacuuming a lot for relieving tension. One more vote for journaling. Exercise, even just going for a long walk helps.

pennywistle

Oh, and I also wanted to add that if you are at all crafty, making beautiful things during bad times really helps to raise your self-confidence and make 'lemonade from lemons'.

tjp613

Crafting has saved my sanity on many occasions! I was really getting into metal-smithing and beading for a long time. I have thousands of dollars worth of tools, silver, beads and other supplies in 13 boxes in my closet I don't have a good working space anymore...but someday I will drag it all out again. The most beautiful piece I ever made was a silver and pearl necklace I made to wear to my mother's funeral. I'll never forget the time and love I put into making that necklace and how making it helped me to heal. I've had people offer to buy it from me... uh, no way!

That's why the coloring has been so helpful to me...I have to be doing something creative at all times. I'm not real good at any one thing, but that's not the point. It's just a coping skill. It's something I do for ME.

stella27

Vacuuming is a GREAT stress-reliever for me. I love it. And I inherited that quality from my mother.

lillamy

That's sort of where I'm at today, too.

I run. I read. I work. I sleep.
Today, I'm still out of cope.
Coping skills utilized today include yelling into pillows, crying, and eating chocolate. So I need to go back and write down some of your more useful ones.

barb dwyer

I draw.
I paint.
I clean.

I've lately gotten hooked on Terry Pratchett books on cd while doing those.

I actually have to budget homework time
so there's at least an hour to draw every day.

I'm just not 'right' if I can't create in a day.

For years I made 'side money'
doing drawings and stuff.
And it took away something from the ability to draw
that I've only recently recaptured.

WHen you do art for a living
there's always this lurking thing
that you 'have' to make whatever you do ... good.

And that removes the 'healing' nature of creativity.

Somehow
that's gone away lately
and I've filled my journal with drawings.
These -
are just for me.

Cyranoak

...given that I easily come off the rails, I get many chances to work my coping skills. The ones I use most often, some more successfully than others, are these:

1. Physically removing myself from the situation if possible, often by going to an Alanon meeting.
2. Breathing deeply and thinking before responding (I know many of you don't believe this-- and with good reason).
3. Saying the serenity prayer, hanging out here, and writing letters that I don't send. I have an entire catalog of unsent letters. If you think I'm unpleasant now, you should see some of these letters. Good God.
4. Swearing.
5. Going for a ride.
6. Meeting a buddy or buddies for a beer or a ride.
7. Working in the garage, door closed, music on, tools out.

Shellcrusher

Go for a walk.
Smoke a cigar.
Think about gardens and growing things.
Read.

starlight40

Terrific thread!

When My kids were little and we had just left their abusive dad, I invented screaming hour. For one hour every night (after dinner, but before their baths,) we would sceam, jump up and down on my bed, beat pillows, whatever!
Eventually, screaming hour turned into singing hour. And I'm happy to report my 19 year old son is still sining in College! (my daughter doesn't sing, but plays guitar)

Try it sometime! It's absolutely cathartic!

Verbena

I garden. I also do paper filigree, quilling. I do some decorative sewing. I cook. Anything that gets you to pay attention to something else is wonderful. Just put on your favorite music and find something to do that takes you away.

tjp613

Yep, since my daughter 'got sick' I've given myself permission to eat as much chocolate as I want. I could easily live on chocolate. I love chocolate. I want to marry chocolate. I want chocolate overflowing in bowls in every room in my house. I'm eating chocolate right now..... Well, actually only the wrappers are left....

lillamy

You know what has actually helped me a lot?
Giving myself permission

Permission to take a day and just stay in bed and cry.
Permission to eat chocolate for dinner.
Permission to say "you know what? Today, I'm going for a walk in the sun, and I'm prioritizing that -- cleaning will have to wait until later. If I have time for it."

Permission to not be so f(Oh I can't say that can I?)ing PERFECT. Put a hat on instead of doing my hair. I'll shower later. Pick up takeout food. Eat it with my fingers in the car. Go through the car wash and cry.

It's all OK. It's like, whatever you have to do to get through some days. This has been one of those weeks for me.