SR = Codies paradise
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Originally Posted by Thumper 
Did you notice I went from here to another thread, got a little triggered, and promptly broke one of my very own rules within an hour. :tsk:
:ghug3
Thumper, you kill me.
I did it too!
Beth
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Oh yeah?
Well, um, uh, and also...
Actually, you could also say, "F&F is a place where codies come to for advice on how to fix themselves and soon discover a butt load of other people that need fixing."
That can be true too.
Dang it!
Actually, you could also say, "F&F is a place where codies come to for advice on how to fix themselves and soon discover a butt load of other people that need fixing."
That can be true too.
Dang it!
Originally Posted by Jazzman
F&F is a place where codies come to for advice on how to fix their loved one and soon discover a butt load of other people that need fixing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Originally Posted by Jazzman
F&F is a place where codies come to for advice on how to fix their loved one and soon discover a butt load of other people that need fixing.
However, AA and Al-Anon are built upon service to others; that makes us here at SR ok, too, right?
Maybe the better word in interdependent, not codependent.
But, Jazzman, thanks for the laugh on an otherwise boring Monday afternoon at the office!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I do get overwhelmed sometimes at the number of new posters who arrive each day telling the same horrible story that we all have lived through in some form or another. The enormity of the problem of alcoholism become pretty obvious after you spend enough time here.
F&F is a place where codies come to for advice on how to fix their loved one and soon discover a butt load of other people that need fixing.
Maybe we could just get into one of those emoticon circles and fix each other? You know, sort of like monkeys de-lousing each other?
Seriously, though... there are days when the enormity of the problem of addiction makes it impossible for me to even read. Because the taking my experiences and making them useful to somebody else at times seems like a game of whack-a-mole. Or fighting a hydra. Cut one head off, two new grows out in its place. So we have to remember that story about the starfish.
adapted from The Star Thrower
by Loren Eiseley
1907 – 1977
Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”
The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”
“I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, “I made a difference to that one.”
by Loren Eiseley
1907 – 1977
Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”
The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”
“I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, “I made a difference to that one.”
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Shell,
You totally busted me!!
When some of my old toxic acquaintances argued that following the 12-steps and being part of a group like SR is just as addictive as their booze, they were at least a little right.
There were days where I had to come here. I had to be heard in the discussions. I had to share my experience in recovery and have someone "thank" my post. I had to give my strength and hope and have someone express their appreciation.
I have a list I made when I took my personal inventory and SR feeds some of the heavy hitters on there.
1) My need for validation. When I tell my tale and someone can relate.
2) Need for being needed. When a newbie posts and no one replies at first and along comes Alice to offer a kind word.
3) Need to win and control. When my thread gets all the traffic and the "thanks" pile up.
Oh yeah, it's pathological. This is the ugly side of Alice that I work on every day.
People may wonder why someone who left their alcoholic EX 1 year and a 1/2 ago needs with SR. Well, for me it's a safe place to work on those codie-traits and work with my recovery tools like being still, thinking before speaking, checking my motives, leaving my advice at the door, and detaching when my emotions cloud my judgment.
There are days when I read but don't sign in so I can't just rattle off a response without checking myself. There are days where I barely post, others where I share more. The days where my focus is on sharing recovery and those are when I like being here most. The days I am all about Alice and what Alice has to say.....I have to log off and close out the site and I resent doing it.
I still struggle with these issues in the real world with people I try to relate to and form bonds with. There have times been where I broke into a cold sweat because I wished I could think on what I say more and edit my responses better before they come out. Yet, here I can make a codie mistake and learn from it. Far fewer consequences here and for me that's a relief. It's hard out there. I feel like a fish out of water sometimes. I have a lifetime of bad habits to undo and I'm a work in progress.
Great thread!
Alice
Normie-in-training.
You totally busted me!!
When some of my old toxic acquaintances argued that following the 12-steps and being part of a group like SR is just as addictive as their booze, they were at least a little right.
There were days where I had to come here. I had to be heard in the discussions. I had to share my experience in recovery and have someone "thank" my post. I had to give my strength and hope and have someone express their appreciation.
I have a list I made when I took my personal inventory and SR feeds some of the heavy hitters on there.
1) My need for validation. When I tell my tale and someone can relate.
2) Need for being needed. When a newbie posts and no one replies at first and along comes Alice to offer a kind word.
3) Need to win and control. When my thread gets all the traffic and the "thanks" pile up.
Oh yeah, it's pathological. This is the ugly side of Alice that I work on every day.
People may wonder why someone who left their alcoholic EX 1 year and a 1/2 ago needs with SR. Well, for me it's a safe place to work on those codie-traits and work with my recovery tools like being still, thinking before speaking, checking my motives, leaving my advice at the door, and detaching when my emotions cloud my judgment.
There are days when I read but don't sign in so I can't just rattle off a response without checking myself. There are days where I barely post, others where I share more. The days where my focus is on sharing recovery and those are when I like being here most. The days I am all about Alice and what Alice has to say.....I have to log off and close out the site and I resent doing it.
I still struggle with these issues in the real world with people I try to relate to and form bonds with. There have times been where I broke into a cold sweat because I wished I could think on what I say more and edit my responses better before they come out. Yet, here I can make a codie mistake and learn from it. Far fewer consequences here and for me that's a relief. It's hard out there. I feel like a fish out of water sometimes. I have a lifetime of bad habits to undo and I'm a work in progress.
Great thread!
Alice
Normie-in-training.
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