The three "C"s.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Originally Posted by kiki5711 
how could they do that? the medical bills garnishment I mean? It's enough stress to put you back on the "exit" of a heart attack road. It's cruel, just totally cruel.
I have a ton of medical bills that have not been paid yet. This is an accumulation of the past 3 yrs of dealing with 2 cancers, not working for a year and half, and now working for much lower wage then I use to make.
I guess they won't be satisfied till I"m dead.
It's just when you think you're making a "little" progress in your life and trying to get better, the blood suckers want to take you down for a few dollars, as IF they havent's collected thousands and thousands of dollars on me from the insurance company already.
I'm totally ill about it.
I have a ton of medical bills that have not been paid yet. This is an accumulation of the past 3 yrs of dealing with 2 cancers, not working for a year and half, and now working for much lower wage then I use to make.
I guess they won't be satisfied till I"m dead.
It's just when you think you're making a "little" progress in your life and trying to get better, the blood suckers want to take you down for a few dollars, as IF they havent's collected thousands and thousands of dollars on me from the insurance company already.
I'm totally ill about it.
He works for cash so they couldn't garnish his check & we live in a community property state - so according to the law - they could garnish mine! That was just the start of the stuff that happened thru my divorce -
There are no laws to protect a woman (or man) that has stayed with a spouse that is a drug addict/alcoholic for many years to try to help them thru their disease ~ It doesn't matter that you have been the only one that has worked, saved, scrimped & tried to salvage anything to support your family - the A partner still can get 1/2 of all the assets. They don't have to take on the debts because THEY don't have a job -
This is not bitterness - this is just fact - things spouses of addicts/alcoholics should know - Please seek legal counsel as soon as possible in order to protect yourself!!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
I didn't cause it
I can't control it
I can't cure it
I can't control it
I can't cure it
Choices I made in life caused me to be where I am today, therefore all actions had reactions that brought me here. (therefore I did cause it)
Way I can control it is by actively seeking to better myself. (whatever way or means possible) (for as long as it takes) if I so choose.
And although I can't cure a lot of ailments I have, I actively have to participate in actions that will make me want to live a productive life, again, If I so choose.
If I ever come to the point of having a "death wish", I might not take any action.
Even in hell, I felt I wanted to be in charge. It was my choice to self medicate and it was me that got sick of it.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
All in all, I think my daughters will have in their brain memory of me being a fighter in all situations. I HOPE. So that no matter what they're going through, they can remember that it can be overcome.
this was it for my daughter. she told me that she hears my voice in her head when she is about to do something foolish or dumb.
she admits to me when she messes up so we can talk about what to do next time or in another similar situation.
she has heard me say time and time again that it is always best to take care of yourself, financially, emotionally spiritually.
she watches me try to repair financial wreckage i created by buying things i could not afford.
she just bought her first car and insurance with her own money.
yep, my daughter. my hero.
Beth
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
Originally Posted by wicked
kiki
this was it for my daughter. she told me that she hears my voice in her head when she is about to do something foolish or dumb.
she admits to me when she messes up so we can talk about what to do next time or in another similar situation.
she has heard me say time and time again that it is always best to take care of yourself, financially, emotionally spiritually.
she watches me try to repair financial wreckage i created by buying things i could not afford.
she just bought her first car and insurance with her own money.
yep, my daughter. my hero.
Beth
this was it for my daughter. she told me that she hears my voice in her head when she is about to do something foolish or dumb.
she admits to me when she messes up so we can talk about what to do next time or in another similar situation.
she has heard me say time and time again that it is always best to take care of yourself, financially, emotionally spiritually.
she watches me try to repair financial wreckage i created by buying things i could not afford.
she just bought her first car and insurance with her own money.
yep, my daughter. my hero.
Beth
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
KiKi: You are misunderstanding the three C statements -
Those are statements directed at the friend/family member of the addicted loved one. It means, "I did not cause my loved ones addiction, I cannot control my loved one's addiction, and I cannot cure my loved one's addiction."
Many of us are stuck in guilt - that somehow we do have the power to cause someone to want to use drugs/alcohol. Many of us have listened to the addict tell us over and over that we are to blame for their troubles, that it is because of us that they use drugs or alcohol. So that is why the Three C's are referred here so much.
Hope that helps.
Those are statements directed at the friend/family member of the addicted loved one. It means, "I did not cause my loved ones addiction, I cannot control my loved one's addiction, and I cannot cure my loved one's addiction."
Many of us are stuck in guilt - that somehow we do have the power to cause someone to want to use drugs/alcohol. Many of us have listened to the addict tell us over and over that we are to blame for their troubles, that it is because of us that they use drugs or alcohol. So that is why the Three C's are referred here so much.
Hope that helps.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
Originally Posted by sojourner
KiKi: You are misunderstanding the three C statements -
Those are statements directed at the friend/family member of the addicted loved one. It means, "I did not cause my loved ones addiction, I cannot control my loved one's addiction, and I cannot cure my loved one's addiction."
Many of us are stuck in guilt - that somehow we do have the power to cause someone to want to use drugs/alcohol. Many of us have listened to the addict tell us over and over that we are to blame for their troubles, that it is because of us that they use drugs or alcohol. So that is why the Three C's are referred here so much.
Hope that helps.
Those are statements directed at the friend/family member of the addicted loved one. It means, "I did not cause my loved ones addiction, I cannot control my loved one's addiction, and I cannot cure my loved one's addiction."
Many of us are stuck in guilt - that somehow we do have the power to cause someone to want to use drugs/alcohol. Many of us have listened to the addict tell us over and over that we are to blame for their troubles, that it is because of us that they use drugs or alcohol. So that is why the Three C's are referred here so much.
Hope that helps.
However, I fit in both of those categories. So my feelings are entertwined.
And I guess this is the point I'm trying to clearify in my mind.
While I have to deal with my daughters choices, they have to deal with mine as well.
THe growth takes place between both. Them and me.
When I was a child growing up in Croatia, children had their place. Grown ups did what they did, it didn't mean children were suppose to act up about it. I'm not talking about mean spirited discipline either. Children were suppose to "WANT" to help their parents, not out of duty or demand, but out of love. We were suppose to listen to our parents cause we trusted them and loved them not because we feared them.
I tried to raise them like that too. Maybe I was wrong.
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