ksumm77

My AH finally admitted to me tonight that he has been abusing his Lorazepam and Tramadol. Everyone was telling me to trust my gut with things that had been going on. He's lied to me for basically the whole time that we've known each other and been married. I've known him for 3 years and been married for 1 1/2 years to him. All built on lies. He doesn't understand why I say it's built on lies. This makes me realize that I have been in such denial. It also makes me realize that I am like many others who said in so many words "if you really love me you'll quit". That reality just hit tonight. It's a tough one to swallow. I did start seeing a therapist the other day. I am attending Al Anon and I have someone in mind to ask to be my sponsor, so I guess I am headed on the right track for me at least. I just fear that this is how it will always be. 1 1/2 years ago, 3 days before I married him, I found he got a DUI and he's been sober from alcohol since, but started abusing pills shortly before his DUI. What next? How do you regain trust? I know it will be a long process!

Thumper

Whats next? I think continue with your therapist and al-anon and you'll find the answers that are right for you.

Trust for someone is gained when they consistently behave in a trustworthy manner. It isn't really something you do, it is something they do.

naive

i've learned not to trust a liar. best to consider everything they say as fiction.

keep working your recovery. things will become clearer.

wicked

Yes, I had to learn this too. I wanted to believe, even though I was an alcoholic (recovering) and I know how we lie. We lie when the truth would be easier.
I like to think I am an honest person, and normally I am, but when actively using, if I told you two beers or two pills you could at the very least triple that, and probably quintuple that in a few hours.

You continue working on you. You have a therapist and AlAnon. I wish I could give credit to the person who said, "work the program like you wish they would."

Keep doing for you.

Beth

barb dwyer

I'm glad you've got a reocovery resource.

what's next?

hit a meeting.

you'll know what to do when it's time to do it.

I also have a no lie tolerance policy.
but I came about it thehard way just like
the others here.