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I set a boundary

Old 12-01-2010, 02:49 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Thumper - thanks for helping me process.

It's option A -- I don't want to facilitate it. The last few times I've seen him he's kept the drinking to a minimum around me -- diluting wine with juice or sharing a beer with someone. Obviously I'm still not happy that he's drinking but I'm not going to freak out.

In that case does it seem like I need to warn him that I don't want to be the one taking him to the liquor store? I realize that maybe it seems silly to focus on this but I just don't think in good conscience that I can facilitate, even if I'm willing to let it happen.
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Old 12-01-2010, 03:12 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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In that case does it seem like I need to warn him that I don't want to be the one taking him to the liquor store?
IMO, no, it doesn't sound to me like you have to warn him. Just let him know when you are comfortable speaking to him about it, civilly and without accusing him of anything, that this is your boundary and let him know he will have to find alternative means of getting to the liquor store. Believe me, I KNOW what you are talking about because that is what my Dad is always doing, asking family members to pick some up for him or take him down there. It's very annoying. I would just plan out what I am going to say ahead of time.
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Old 12-01-2010, 03:29 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Good for you! I did it as well and it worked out well for me. He still slips at times but I reconfirm the boundry whenever necessary. Sadly I do have to hang up at times when he breaks the boundry and incoherent.

I know this took a lot to do so good job!!!!!!

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