Listeningheart1

I also lost two family members this year. I wanted so badly to believe he really meant it when he said that he had not been drinking for a long time and had no desire to drink and wanted to be a family man, holding down a job and supporting us once again. He stayed away from everything (nearly to the point of total isolation at our house). He went under and comes home at 4am......I am seeing a cycle now. He gets desperate, tells me a hard luck story, I relent, he comes over, he stays for a few weeks, then things start to break down again, I ask him to leave...he blames me, he moves in with a relative out of state for a few months, moves back here since he misses the kids, he wants to see us, I forget what happened and get into the ring again with him......on and on. Stop the insanity? I want to learn more about alcoholism and how it has been affecting our lives. That is why I am here. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. God is good all the time. We just don't always recognize it.

Pelican

Welcome to the SR family!

You have found a source of support and information here at SR. We understand, and we are here to support you.

Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.

I gain wisdom from the permanent (sticky) posts at the top of this forum. Some of our stories are posted there.

Here is a sticky post that contains some steps that we have taken when dealing with our loved one's addiction:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

Eight Ball

Hi ListeningHeart1 and welcome to SR

Reading your short story I immediately thought of 'A Merry Go Round Called Denial' (I think) which is an Al Anon leaflet and one of my personal favorites because the minute I read it, I instantly recognized myself and my own marriage with my AH.

I tried to find it, in one of the stickies above so that I could post you a link but perhaps someone else can help with that, or you can have a look for it yourself.

Keep posting, reading and the learning will follow. Welcome again.

Freedom1990

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cters-1-a.html

theuncertainty

Welcome to SR, Listeningheart1. (Great name BTW.) Seeing the cycle is so hard to do sometimes and is an amazing accomplishment!

SR is a great resource for learning about alcoholism affects lives and has been a major support. I also really liked the book Under the Influence to learn about how alcohol affects the alcoholic. (There are excerpts in the stickies.)

Wishing you peace and strength.

dollydo

Welcome, sorry that you are stuck in this cycle.

There is a way out, meetings, reading Codependent No More, reading the stickys here and reading others posts.

Lots of wonderful caring people here, keep posting!

naive

knowledge is power to break the cycle. stay here, learn with us and get out of that ring with him.

you see it now. that's a very good start!

welcome!