O/T somewhat, but I need to vent where no one knows my family!
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Location: Manchester UK
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O/T somewhat, but I need to vent where no one knows my family!
Grrr! families!
When we were growing up, my brother and I used to sing a song, The Undertones, My Perfect cousin. It summed up our cousin quite well at the time, he was a good lad growing up, he'd snitch on us for the slightest thing so he could get some reward or gratification.
His mum was 16 and single when he was born, and she's worked damned hard ever since, she has a 'materially good life' and she taught him to work hard too, she's never let him slack or carried him, he's had to work for his own keep (in a good way, she wasn't hard)
As we grew up we spent a lot of time together, our mums are sisters so I guess they helped each other, although we usually seemed to be at our house and not his, my cousin would stay over, my dad taught him how to swim etc.
Fast forward a few years and my cousin qualifies as a solicitor, he's worked hard through University and we're all so proud of him.
He met his wife at Uni, they went off to get married in New York, they never told anyone, we'd have like to have shared in some way, but the NY wedding was it, nothing back home in the UK for family, not even for his Gran who couldn't have gone to NY if she'd been invited!
Cousin is by this time well on his way to becoming a partner in the law firm he trained with, baby on the way, big house, big car blah blah blah.
Cousin gets the partnership, his mum hardly ever sees her two grandkids (boy and a girl by now) and has to almost beg everytime she sees them, cousin lives about 50 miles from us (what is it with this 50 mile thing lol)
My brother dies, cousin is a well respected partner and offers to sort out his estate for us and do the probate suff, we gladly accept as we're all devastated by things right now.
Almost two years down the line we discover, by accident, that my cousin has left the law firm, well, not actually left but been locked out by his partner who has changed the locks and issued High Court proceedings against my cousin, for what I have no idea!
I speak to the firm about my brothers estate and obviously don't get much joy (or peace of mind) I get the impression that they think as a relative I know more than I'm letting on. I know nothing, apart from when I look on some business site and find that my cousin has registerd a business months ago in his and his wifes names.
Meanwhile almost two years after my brother died my parents are waiting for some kind of closure from the estate being sorted out, and we get a letter today telling us that very little has been completed on the case, and some vital things which should have been done months ago just havent been done!
All through this I've been impatient, angry, pushy and adamant that things get done, while my mother has been my calming influence and told me that my cousin will do things as they arise, and I've held back and trusted him.
Today she phoned me to tell me about the letter she'd received and I could hear the emotion in her voice, she's been through enough, she lost her son, and her nephew couldn't even send her a card to say he doesn't work there anymore so won't be dealing with it? Unreal!
I'm not sure where to go from here. I've had almost two years of thinking we were close to sorting things out, now it feels like we have to start all over again.
From what I can gather up to now, and I will make sure I have all the facts right before I do anything, it seems my cousin has been negligent and has made basic errors in the work he's done for us.
I will make sure he is brought to account for that, if nothing else.
I feel so sad for my mum, she lost her son and now she's lost her trust in her nephew, who was like a second son to her at one time.
When we were growing up, my brother and I used to sing a song, The Undertones, My Perfect cousin. It summed up our cousin quite well at the time, he was a good lad growing up, he'd snitch on us for the slightest thing so he could get some reward or gratification.
His mum was 16 and single when he was born, and she's worked damned hard ever since, she has a 'materially good life' and she taught him to work hard too, she's never let him slack or carried him, he's had to work for his own keep (in a good way, she wasn't hard)
As we grew up we spent a lot of time together, our mums are sisters so I guess they helped each other, although we usually seemed to be at our house and not his, my cousin would stay over, my dad taught him how to swim etc.
Fast forward a few years and my cousin qualifies as a solicitor, he's worked hard through University and we're all so proud of him.
He met his wife at Uni, they went off to get married in New York, they never told anyone, we'd have like to have shared in some way, but the NY wedding was it, nothing back home in the UK for family, not even for his Gran who couldn't have gone to NY if she'd been invited!
Cousin is by this time well on his way to becoming a partner in the law firm he trained with, baby on the way, big house, big car blah blah blah.
Cousin gets the partnership, his mum hardly ever sees her two grandkids (boy and a girl by now) and has to almost beg everytime she sees them, cousin lives about 50 miles from us (what is it with this 50 mile thing lol)
My brother dies, cousin is a well respected partner and offers to sort out his estate for us and do the probate suff, we gladly accept as we're all devastated by things right now.
Almost two years down the line we discover, by accident, that my cousin has left the law firm, well, not actually left but been locked out by his partner who has changed the locks and issued High Court proceedings against my cousin, for what I have no idea!
I speak to the firm about my brothers estate and obviously don't get much joy (or peace of mind) I get the impression that they think as a relative I know more than I'm letting on. I know nothing, apart from when I look on some business site and find that my cousin has registerd a business months ago in his and his wifes names.
Meanwhile almost two years after my brother died my parents are waiting for some kind of closure from the estate being sorted out, and we get a letter today telling us that very little has been completed on the case, and some vital things which should have been done months ago just havent been done!
All through this I've been impatient, angry, pushy and adamant that things get done, while my mother has been my calming influence and told me that my cousin will do things as they arise, and I've held back and trusted him.
Today she phoned me to tell me about the letter she'd received and I could hear the emotion in her voice, she's been through enough, she lost her son, and her nephew couldn't even send her a card to say he doesn't work there anymore so won't be dealing with it? Unreal!
I'm not sure where to go from here. I've had almost two years of thinking we were close to sorting things out, now it feels like we have to start all over again.
From what I can gather up to now, and I will make sure I have all the facts right before I do anything, it seems my cousin has been negligent and has made basic errors in the work he's done for us.
I will make sure he is brought to account for that, if nothing else.
I feel so sad for my mum, she lost her son and now she's lost her trust in her nephew, who was like a second son to her at one time.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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Oh, Lucy. What an arse. Hope you feel a little bit better having let all of that out.
On a practical level, are you using your cousin's old firm? You could use another one and pursue a claim against your cousin's previous firm. They will have PI insurance. Or at least getting the SRA involved? Check your household insurance policies because you probably have legal cover as an add on (although don't get your hopes up because solicitors get a bit squeamish about going after their own.)
Fingers crossed that it all works out soon.
On a practical level, are you using your cousin's old firm? You could use another one and pursue a claim against your cousin's previous firm. They will have PI insurance. Or at least getting the SRA involved? Check your household insurance policies because you probably have legal cover as an add on (although don't get your hopes up because solicitors get a bit squeamish about going after their own.)
Fingers crossed that it all works out soon.
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I do feel better for getting it out, thanks!
I'm not sure I want to do anything against his previous firm at the moment, they're the ones untying the mess for us right now and they've been left in it by him too from what I can see.
It's all so confusing because although I knew a few weeks ago that he'd left them, it's only today that I found out were really no further on than we were two years ago.
There was always only one person dealing with our case so I don't feel the firm is really responsible.
I need to find out. We have this new thing here, the Legal Ombudsman, I'll give them a ring and see what they say, they're supposed to be completely impartial in legal complaints etc. If they can't help they might point me in the right direction.
The original company has already agreed to keep us on as clients on the terms we originally agreed, and we've learned more in a few weeks than we did in the last 2 years or so.
My cousins new website says he will deal with your probate worries in a professional sensitive manner and sort things out as quickly as possible.
I just need to think and get advice as to what to do next, it would be too easy to go with my knee jerk reactions right now.
I'm not sure I want to do anything against his previous firm at the moment, they're the ones untying the mess for us right now and they've been left in it by him too from what I can see.
It's all so confusing because although I knew a few weeks ago that he'd left them, it's only today that I found out were really no further on than we were two years ago.
There was always only one person dealing with our case so I don't feel the firm is really responsible.
I need to find out. We have this new thing here, the Legal Ombudsman, I'll give them a ring and see what they say, they're supposed to be completely impartial in legal complaints etc. If they can't help they might point me in the right direction.
The original company has already agreed to keep us on as clients on the terms we originally agreed, and we've learned more in a few weeks than we did in the last 2 years or so.
My cousins new website says he will deal with your probate worries in a professional sensitive manner and sort things out as quickly as possible.
I just need to think and get advice as to what to do next, it would be too easy to go with my knee jerk reactions right now.
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Originally Posted by Freedom1990 
I can't help but wonder what in the heck your cousin did, what with him literally being locked out, with proceedings against him?
I'm so sorry your mother and you are going through this right now.
I'm so sorry your mother and you are going through this right now.
Freedom, you aren't the only one!
I just hope it was something as minor as setting up in competition against his employer!
(but only because that would mean we don't get any other complications, right this minute I just hope he would crash and burn big time!)
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
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Originally Posted by LucyA
Freedom, you aren't the only one!
I just hope it was something as minor as setting up in competition against his employer!
(but only because that would mean we don't get any other complications, right this minute I just hope he would crash and burn big time!)
I just hope it was something as minor as setting up in competition against his employer!
(but only because that would mean we don't get any other complications, right this minute I just hope he would crash and burn big time!)
If you've already gotten more info in the last two weeks from the original firm, do you think they can get the ball rolling now on resolving the estate issues?
Are any family members in contact with the cousin?
Personally I would be livid that so little had been done with the estate, and wouldn't hesitate to let the cousin know.
I think that was incredibly insensitive of him to send your mother that card.
Seems a cowardly way to deal with things.
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No, Freedom, you got it wrong, or I worded it wrong and you misunderstood, he never sent any card, he never even told her he was leaving the firm, I found out by accident!
It might have been better if he had sent some card is what I meant, there are proceedings against him and I know he isn't allowed to contact his clients, but as her nephew he has no excuse for not letting her know something, even if he said he couldn't say anymore than he isn't working for that firm anymore.
He sent his mum a text (can you believe that, a text!) but only because she asked if he was OK after I told her what I'd found out, and I only told her because we're more like sisters than aunt and niece and we just, well, we just talk about things like normal folk do!
It's all just such a mess, he's my cousin but I don't want to contact him because he was also my legal representative and I may need to keep my distance in case of any future proceedings against him. I also feel so much anger towards him for the way he's treated my mum and his mum so it's probably best I don't contact him right now.
It might have been better if he had sent some card is what I meant, there are proceedings against him and I know he isn't allowed to contact his clients, but as her nephew he has no excuse for not letting her know something, even if he said he couldn't say anymore than he isn't working for that firm anymore.
He sent his mum a text (can you believe that, a text!) but only because she asked if he was OK after I told her what I'd found out, and I only told her because we're more like sisters than aunt and niece and we just, well, we just talk about things like normal folk do!
It's all just such a mess, he's my cousin but I don't want to contact him because he was also my legal representative and I may need to keep my distance in case of any future proceedings against him. I also feel so much anger towards him for the way he's treated my mum and his mum so it's probably best I don't contact him right now.
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My boys are brilliant, thanks for asking! I took two of them, Dan the eldast and Joe to an allotment project a few of us are setting up.
At the moment it's a field with horses in it!
There were 5 of us adults there, and 3 kids.
The kids told us how to do it!
How to fence it off, people to go to for help, what kind of fence is best, what the best design is. You ask the question they had the answer today!
I'm just gonna sit back and make a scarecrow!
At the moment it's a field with horses in it!
There were 5 of us adults there, and 3 kids.
The kids told us how to do it!
How to fence it off, people to go to for help, what kind of fence is best, what the best design is. You ask the question they had the answer today!
I'm just gonna sit back and make a scarecrow!
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Speaking of horses, my dog were barking like mad, and I thought what the heck?
So of course I went to the front door, and there was Amber with her quarter horse Sonny. He had both front feet up on the porch waiting for me to come out and say hello!
I used to clean the barns and paddocks out where Amber took riding lessons for years, and I miss that being outside and all the smells!
It's good to have projects like that for the boys, builds character.
So of course I went to the front door, and there was Amber with her quarter horse Sonny. He had both front feet up on the porch waiting for me to come out and say hello!
I used to clean the barns and paddocks out where Amber took riding lessons for years, and I miss that being outside and all the smells!
It's good to have projects like that for the boys, builds character.
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