Didn't cave this time
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Didn't cave this time
Xah called last night - around 7:30pm. A doctor gave him some meds to detox at home. I asked what it was and he said it was like Valium. He was supposed to take 1-2 tablets at night to sleep and he took 1/2 tab. Oddly, he's very concerned about taking meds and always very careful, which is good because he is sensitive to most and reacts oddly/strongly. He fell asleep and woke up with a a massive anxiety attack, and probably some withdrawals. He took another 1/2 tab. He wanted to come to my house so he wasn't alone. 
Thanks to reading so much here I was able to calmly ask him if he could drive (yes) and then told him to go to the ER or call an ambulance if he felt he couldn't drive. He got a little put out with that (saying he's 'not going to do that so whatever') and it was the end of the conversation. I didn't spend any time trying to reassure him, get tons of information, give him advice about what to do (other then go to ER), etc. I also didn't ask him where he was because I suspect he was actually on the way or already in town.
I will admit it took me about an hour to find my equilibrium and I am worried right now. However - I'm so glad I'm no longer actually living in the same house with the drama and fear alcoholism creates.
Thanks to reading so much here I was able to calmly ask him if he could drive (yes) and then told him to go to the ER or call an ambulance if he felt he couldn't drive. He got a little put out with that (saying he's 'not going to do that so whatever') and it was the end of the conversation. I didn't spend any time trying to reassure him, get tons of information, give him advice about what to do (other then go to ER), etc. I also didn't ask him where he was because I suspect he was actually on the way or already in town. I will admit it took me about an hour to find my equilibrium and I am worried right now. However - I'm so glad I'm no longer actually living in the same house with the drama and fear alcoholism creates.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Thank you everyone.
I worry when I have a down moment but I can concentrate and do my job. I got the kids to bed and then off to school without coming unglued over something minor. I am not obsessing over him, his/our situation, how to stay, how to leave, what to do, his job, his health, my confusion, where to go after work. How to avoid him, his neediness, his demands, his accusations.
Such a different place then 12 months ago when all of the above would apply (and did - there was a very similar situation). I'd be seething with rage. I was utterly exhausted in every way imaginable. Today I am simply thinking about someone that I share history (and children forever) with and sending up a prayer that they find their way.
For all you that are in the thick of it. It will get better.
I worry when I have a down moment but I can concentrate and do my job. I got the kids to bed and then off to school without coming unglued over something minor. I am not obsessing over him, his/our situation, how to stay, how to leave, what to do, his job, his health, my confusion, where to go after work. How to avoid him, his neediness, his demands, his accusations.
Such a different place then 12 months ago when all of the above would apply (and did - there was a very similar situation). I'd be seething with rage. I was utterly exhausted in every way imaginable. Today I am simply thinking about someone that I share history (and children forever) with and sending up a prayer that they find their way.
For all you that are in the thick of it. It will get better.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
I liked your smiley guy for when he asked if he could come over (hee, hee)
I am so happy for you. Doesn't it feel great when you do what is right for you!! Woohoo! So it seemed his anxiety abated when you told him to go to the ER or call an ambulance if he could not drive. Good job!
I am so happy for you. Doesn't it feel great when you do what is right for you!! Woohoo! So it seemed his anxiety abated when you told him to go to the ER or call an ambulance if he could not drive. Good job!
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Originally Posted by HoopNinja 
So it seemed his anxiety abated when you told him to go to the ER or call an ambulance if he could not drive.
I just got an email. He did call the doc and there was a medication adjustment (actually added one I think - for anxiety). Anyway, he is OK, he survived, he just didn't want to be alone. I am not the person to keep him company anymore though. I've not sentenced him to a life of loneliness, just removed one option.
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