getting close

Old 10-26-2010, 02:28 AM
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getting close

just wanted to update my progress and say thank you to all who inspire and share their E,S, & H here. You are all so valuable with your wisdom and sharing. It has kept me focused and I am counting down the days until i can get in my car and drive over 500 miles to my new apartment!
I am scared and excited, but i am looking forward to the peace and ability to focus on myself and move forward in my life. I go through strong days and sad days, staying positive for the most part and for some reason, i see the AH in a sad light now. I realize that no matter what he says or does it has nothing at all to do with me and so I (for the first time) don't have to respond or lend any advise AT ALL!! that is a first for me. I can clearly see my part in all this and i know that for me-I have to be miles away in order to leave him to his own devices and find his way.
I also need to be far away to focus on ME!! I know it will be emotional, but i'm ready. The movers will be here Saturday morning to take my things and I will be leaving the following Saturday. AH will be here when the movers come, but then will have to go out of town for work a few days before i go. I am glad about that and look forward to driving out of this area for good!!
I am scared because i don't have a job yet, but I believe i will find one without a problem once i land and can take a deep breath and relax. I also think that the universe will make sure i'm okay, because everything is unfolding in a pattern that makes me believe this is all meant to be.
I am looking forward to being able to attend f2f alanon meetings and focusing on myself and being with my kids and grandkids!!
this week is the coundown. there is a legal separation paper to sign and i know AH didn't think i'd follow through with that, but i know that I deserve to do that for cover my behind if he doesn't follow through. no more idle promises...i'm covering my perverbial arse and making sure i have MY ducks in a row....that is my only job-ME and only ME!!
thank you all for your inspiration and support. I am about to embark on a long awaited journey that, until now, i didn't have the strength to do. A little piece of me has some resentment toward the AH for forcing me to give up my life here, but i know it is in my best interest and I take responsibility for getting myself into this situation and now getting myself out!! even after 20 years....part of me sees that taking this long to get out has some positive points i'm trying to focus on the positive and shed the negative.....I am so anxious to be able to live without an alcoholic underfoot fighting with me every step of the way!! i can't imagine what that is going to feel like but i'm looking so very forward to it!! it is a bittersweet result that i know is in MY best interest!!
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The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to missphit For This Useful Post:
acdirito (10-26-2010), bookwyrm (10-26-2010), celticghirl (10-26-2010), coyote21 (10-26-2010), desertgirl (10-26-2010), dollydo (10-26-2010), HealingWillCome (10-26-2010), Learn2Live (10-26-2010), Leise (10-26-2010), naive (10-26-2010), nodaybut2day (10-27-2010), Pelican (10-26-2010), SashaMB (10-26-2010), Thumper (10-26-2010), westbank (10-26-2010), wicked (10-26-2010), Yngwie66 (10-26-2010)
Old 10-26-2010, 10:44 AM
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God has marvelous things in store for you on your new journey!
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:10 AM
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To thine own self be true.
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You're on the The Freedom Bus missphit!!! YAY!!!
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Old 10-26-2010, 04:30 PM
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I'm no angel!
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With your positive attitude you will do just fine!
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Old 10-26-2010, 05:08 PM
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every journey of a million miles begins with the first step.
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