need some advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: At my computer
Posts: 28
need some advice
So my husband has been sober since December 2009. Everything has been going great, he has been going to meetings 3 times a week, working the steps etc... The last month or so though I have been noticing that he has become increasingly irritable, yells at the kids and me for no reason and if he is not irritable he is just withdrawn. I began to suspect that perhaps he is not taking his antidepressant so I asked him and he said "No I haven't taken it in about 2 months and I don't really think I need it anymore". I told him "yes I think you do need to take it" and he told me not to talk to him anymore about it ever again. The main reason he drank was because of his depression, I mean he really needs to take his meds or I know that he will relapse. He is pretty close to his sponsor so I was thinking that I would send him a text and see if he would talk to him. I am wondering if anyone thinks that would be overstepping my boundaries?
Thanks for reading
Thanks for reading
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
I've no idea if it is. But I do know you can't force him to take the anti-depressants, and you can't force him to realize that he needs help.
If he continues this path, what are your plans?
If he continues this path, what are your plans?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
From someone in AA, with a sponsor, I think that is totally overstepping your bounds. I understand your concern and your frustration, but I do not think you should be discussing these things with his sponsor without his knowledge. Just my opinion.
I would talk to his doctor before that.
I would talk to his doctor before that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: At my computer
Posts: 28
Ok but because of all the privacy laws I can't talk to his Dr. Thanks though I wont say anything to the sponsor I will just let it alone I guess and see what happens. Still waters to answer your question if he relapses I will leave with our children and he knows that. I don't think he is anywhere near that. It's just I see him becoming depressed again and don't want it to get to the point that he relapses. I know though that he is a grown adult and can make his own decisions but I am just concerned I guess how those decisions will effect me and our children.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Hi Im Sharon and Im an
alcoholic.
By the grace of my HP
and people like you here
in SR I havent found it
necessary to pick up a
drink of alcohol since
8-11-90.
For that and you I am
truely grateful.
Our recovery program
is an awesome one. I
have depended on the
fellowship from day
one to help me and
guide me thru daily
obsticles without a
drink for 20yrs. now.
I have learned that I
never ever have to go
thru anything alone
again.
Whatever problem big
or small I can turn to
support either here in
SR or friends in AA to
help me. To suggest
things to help me make
a good decision.
It has been comforting
to know I have an awesome
support in recovery to
help me so that I dont
have to pick up a drink
like I use to.
Anything from mood
swings, to eating, to
family, to work, to
religion, to pets, to
relationships, to upset
stomach, hip replacements....
It's just amazing the
support we have to help
us.
There is a program as
I assume you know so
that you can take care
of u along with ur spouse
who is also in recovery.
Each member has a program
to help them in all sorts
of situations.
For ur spouse....If i were
he, id bring my problem
of depression or anxiety
to here first and ask for
suggestions of what to
do, or ask that members
share their own experiences
strengths and hopes on
this topic.
After I delt with my
alcoholism, I addressed
my chemical imbalance
in my body. My anxiety
or mood swings.
People in recovery shared
what worked for them
and gave me good suggestions
so i could find the right
answer to help me with it.
What worked for them may
not necessarily work for me,
but reading all the suggestions
like going to my doctor and
letting him know honestly
that Im in recovery and Im
anxious or depressed about
life etc. and if he could
recommend something
to me either to talk to
someone about my problems
or if its medicine to be
prescribed that it not be
narcotic or habit forming.
My sobriety and recovery
is top priority to me.
My anxiety was addressed
and with help from my
physician the quality of
life is also enjoyable for
me today.
We seek AA for our drinking
and seek doctors for medical
situations and so on.
Hope this helps some.
alcoholic.
By the grace of my HP
and people like you here
in SR I havent found it
necessary to pick up a
drink of alcohol since
8-11-90.
For that and you I am
truely grateful.
Our recovery program
is an awesome one. I
have depended on the
fellowship from day
one to help me and
guide me thru daily
obsticles without a
drink for 20yrs. now.
I have learned that I
never ever have to go
thru anything alone
again.
Whatever problem big
or small I can turn to
support either here in
SR or friends in AA to
help me. To suggest
things to help me make
a good decision.
It has been comforting
to know I have an awesome
support in recovery to
help me so that I dont
have to pick up a drink
like I use to.
Anything from mood
swings, to eating, to
family, to work, to
religion, to pets, to
relationships, to upset
stomach, hip replacements....
It's just amazing the
support we have to help
us.
There is a program as
I assume you know so
that you can take care
of u along with ur spouse
who is also in recovery.
Each member has a program
to help them in all sorts
of situations.
For ur spouse....If i were
he, id bring my problem
of depression or anxiety
to here first and ask for
suggestions of what to
do, or ask that members
share their own experiences
strengths and hopes on
this topic.
After I delt with my
alcoholism, I addressed
my chemical imbalance
in my body. My anxiety
or mood swings.
People in recovery shared
what worked for them
and gave me good suggestions
so i could find the right
answer to help me with it.
What worked for them may
not necessarily work for me,
but reading all the suggestions
like going to my doctor and
letting him know honestly
that Im in recovery and Im
anxious or depressed about
life etc. and if he could
recommend something
to me either to talk to
someone about my problems
or if its medicine to be
prescribed that it not be
narcotic or habit forming.
My sobriety and recovery
is top priority to me.
My anxiety was addressed
and with help from my
physician the quality of
life is also enjoyable for
me today.
We seek AA for our drinking
and seek doctors for medical
situations and so on.
Hope this helps some.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: At my computer
Posts: 28
Coyote, LOL I would never do that 
Sharon thank you for the advice. He does go to a psychiatrist who specializes in chemical dependency and they have worked hard together to find the right medications for him that is why I am a bit upset that he has stopped taking them. I think you also right that I should go to a meeting as well. It has been a while since I have gone and I do miss that support.
Sharon thank you for the advice. He does go to a psychiatrist who specializes in chemical dependency and they have worked hard together to find the right medications for him that is why I am a bit upset that he has stopped taking them. I think you also right that I should go to a meeting as well. It has been a while since I have gone and I do miss that support.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 133
Dear HopesandDreams, you wrote "Ok but because of all the privacy laws I can't talk to his Dr." "He does go to a psychiatrist who specializes in chemical dependency and they have worked hard together to find the right medications for him that is why I am a bit upset that he has stopped taking them."
That is not quite right, you can talk to his psychiatrist and tell him about your concerns, and that your husband is no longer taking his medicine. The psychiatrist just can not talk to you about your husband. I had to talk with my dry drunk husband's psychiatrist after I came back home from the hospital from suffering a massive stroke. My DDH just refused to do anything I needed done. The only way I got any attention from my DDH was by me calling his psychriatrist and telling him that my DDH basically wasn't functioning at the house. I guess the psychriatrist finally made some sense to my DDH. He came home from his doctor's appointment at least willing to do somethings.
As far as talking to your husband's AA sponsor, I wouldn't do it. Your husband either will work for his own recovery program or not. He is totally in control of his own recovery. You can NOT do it for him! You can only work your recovery program and you are only responsible for your own recovery.
God's Blessings!
Remember:
You didn't CAUSE it
You can't CURE it
You can't CONTROL it.
That is not quite right, you can talk to his psychiatrist and tell him about your concerns, and that your husband is no longer taking his medicine. The psychiatrist just can not talk to you about your husband. I had to talk with my dry drunk husband's psychiatrist after I came back home from the hospital from suffering a massive stroke. My DDH just refused to do anything I needed done. The only way I got any attention from my DDH was by me calling his psychriatrist and telling him that my DDH basically wasn't functioning at the house. I guess the psychriatrist finally made some sense to my DDH. He came home from his doctor's appointment at least willing to do somethings.
As far as talking to your husband's AA sponsor, I wouldn't do it. Your husband either will work for his own recovery program or not. He is totally in control of his own recovery. You can NOT do it for him! You can only work your recovery program and you are only responsible for your own recovery.
God's Blessings!
Remember:
You didn't CAUSE it
You can't CURE it
You can't CONTROL it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
It did take almost a yr
of trying different meds
that would agree with me
with no side affects.
Finally one has made its
match and has made a
my out look on life so
much better.
Because meds are
adjusting a persons
chemical imbalance
then abruptly getting
off of them would
definitely interfere
ones inside system
greatly.
If i were to get off
mine without a doctors
subervision then Id
be in big trouble.
After i went thru counseling
and talked to my doctor, he
is aware fully of how my
insides are working. Only
he would allow me to take
something or not take something
that would be good for me
or bad.
Our bodies go thru so
much in life with changes,
stress, hormones,emotions,
physical,pscholigical ups
and down that i put my
trust in a physcian to help
keep my ticker beating right.
I stay sober with my AA
program and a clean bill
of health with my doctor.
of trying different meds
that would agree with me
with no side affects.
Finally one has made its
match and has made a
my out look on life so
much better.
Because meds are
adjusting a persons
chemical imbalance
then abruptly getting
off of them would
definitely interfere
ones inside system
greatly.
If i were to get off
mine without a doctors
subervision then Id
be in big trouble.
After i went thru counseling
and talked to my doctor, he
is aware fully of how my
insides are working. Only
he would allow me to take
something or not take something
that would be good for me
or bad.
Our bodies go thru so
much in life with changes,
stress, hormones,emotions,
physical,pscholigical ups
and down that i put my
trust in a physcian to help
keep my ticker beating right.
I stay sober with my AA
program and a clean bill
of health with my doctor.
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