onlyliveonce

now that EXAH has been released from prison. When he was locked up I didn't have to worry about running into him. I saw a man walking down the street yesterday and it looked like him and my heart rate sped up and I felt nervous and anxious for some reason. Why am I having these reactions to the thought of seeing him? Thank goodness he hasn't bothered me or son since he's been out. He called me the day he got out of course to tell me what he needed and not once did he ask about our son!! It doesn't surprise me just angers me a bit. BTW - our son had surgery the day before, he didn't know that because I haven't kept in touch with him after I divorced him last year. I asked for and received full, sole custody of son in divorce. When EXAH called he was upset because another prisoner had promised him a job and a place to stay and what do ya know, the guy gave him a bunk phone number. He asked me if I could believe that!!!! Nope can't believe another inmate would lie to you was my reply to him. He didn't talk long because he could see he was getting no help from me. He might as well look for another victim to pull his crap on, I'm not the one anymore. Now that I know he's out, just don't know where, I seem to have my guard up much higher just in case. I let son know he was getting out and he said he didn't care, he didn't want to see him. I know sooner or later I will run into him but for now I'm trying to go out of my way not to. I read SR everyday and I'm sooo... thankful there is a group like this to reach out to. I did not grow up around this mess and in the process became a raging codependent wife. I realize my mistakes now and will not be fixing anyone's' life but my own. Alcohol and drugs will destroy and family faster than you could ever imagine. I'm over the part where I won't have the family I wanted but with all his issues going on I've come to realize I didn't want that lifestyle. If he wants to live like that, and he does, he can do it alone. I don't have to sit by and watch him kill himself and destroy our family at the same time. I live out in the country with lots of woods around so I'm always wondering if he's out in the woods lurking somewhere, always on guard, even at home now. Thanks for reading and any encouragement or suggestions is much appreciated

Learn2Live

Good for you!!!

Sorry your guard is up. Maybe get a dog?

onlyliveonce

I have one that barks his head off at the wind so I'm constantly going outside to see if it's somebody there or if it's the wind he's barking out. I am very glad I have him

TeM

I'm glad you have a dog; I read once that dogs are a great deterrent for burglars and intruders... probably ex husbands, too. There may be some non-lethal personal protection devices you may consider, if you think he's a threat to you physically. Law enforcement agencies in your area may be able to give you advice on this.

Good luck with your journey... stay safe.

caribbean

Er, not if the ex and the dog like each other!

onlyliveonce, good for you. Everything you are experiencing and doing sounds very healthy.

coyote21

I'm a big fan of LETHAL personal protection, I mean if you're gonna bother at all.

But then, I bet it's not politically correct any more, and I didn't get THAT memo either.

German Shepherds/big dogs are good. Bad guys who aren't afraid of the law are STILL scared of big dogs. Nothing quite as exhilarating as an "alligator face" attached to a 100 lb dog. Ah, good times.

Good luck. Stay smart and safe.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote