FormerDoormat

Love this, Freedom, so much that I think it warrants a new thread. But I'd like to make one small change:

My choice is to not allow me to chip away at my soul ever again.

Because the erosion of self--self esteem, self love, self respect, and self care--started with me. I am the common denominator in all my struggles.

It ALL begins and ends with me. That means that I have the power to make or break me. Nobody else possesses that power. This is not about the alcoholic or somebody else's drinking. It's about me. For many years I gave away my power. I chipped away at myself and let my own self hatred erode my soul. Well, I've taken my power back. I will not be a victim of myself any more. I'm getting reacquainted with the real me and I like what I see.

Reclaiming my power was a simple thing to do, but it took a long time for me to see that the problem--and therefore the solution--always was within me. I had the power to save myself all along, but if someone would have told me the solution was as simple as reclaiming myself, I wouldn't have believed them. I had to learn this lesson on my own.

PurpleWilder

I really needed to hear this today. Thanks.

RollTide

Wow. I've been analyzing myself and my part in my relationship with my XAH and you hit on my thoughts exactly. I'm six months past our divorce and much stronger but I'm still not quite me yet. I feel like I lost my soul and I'm gaining it back. Last night at our meeting we talked about boundaries. I think when I set boundaries regarding his behavior and then didn't do what I had said I would do when he crossed the boundary I lost respect for him AND myself. You said you have taken your power back. I'm in the process of taking mine back and it feels refreshing...kind of like seeing a long lost friend. Thanks, FD for your post.

sandrawg

YES YES YES

{raises hand}

Me too!!!

mrphillipctrs1

That is to the heart of it, FD (no pun intended).

Me and God, my HP are putting mine back together.

transformyself

Lord did I need this.

I'm making boundaries again with AH and blaming him for letting the waver in the first place. More hurt, more confusion, more pain. More blaming him, then realizing I haven't been the nicest person either, regardless of what a flaming jerk he is, so I beat myself up.

I've had about enough. I need to reclaim my power and respect myself.

Thanks ya'll!

Hammerhead

I've been reading "Codependent No More"... and I recently had the same aha moment.

It does sicken me to think that I had the power to save myself all along ... I think of all the wasted time crying, worrying and being angry.... but I am so thankful and relieved to find that it is as "simple" as reclaiming oneself...

I wouldn't have believed them either... I also had to learn this lesson on my own....with the help and wisdom of great people at SR.

Thanks for posting this!

:ghug3