When They Move on and You Don't
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 741
When They Move on and You Don't
I am really struggling with this concept right now.
When they set their goals, acheive their dreams and live the life they always wanted.
When you feel left behind, angrier with yourself day by day because sometimes just getting out of bed is a struggle - not like you get any real sleep when you are in it.
When you would do almost anything for 5 minutes of real conversation with them and they make it clear that they can't be bothered and in fact, don't need to be bothered by the likes of you, who really hasn't changed a bit.
You're nothing to them now and it kills you inside when you think about it.
When you consider much further you have to go, espcially when you can't even understand how far that is.
I feel really small today.
When they set their goals, acheive their dreams and live the life they always wanted.
When you feel left behind, angrier with yourself day by day because sometimes just getting out of bed is a struggle - not like you get any real sleep when you are in it.
When you would do almost anything for 5 minutes of real conversation with them and they make it clear that they can't be bothered and in fact, don't need to be bothered by the likes of you, who really hasn't changed a bit.
You're nothing to them now and it kills you inside when you think about it.
When you consider much further you have to go, espcially when you can't even understand how far that is.
I feel really small today.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I am sorry that you are allowing another to dictate your happiness.
How do you actually know that when the other has moved on that the life they are now living is so happy, so perfect? You do not know that, it is your perception of their new life that is causing you all this emotional turmoil. It is you, that is keeping you fromt moving forward.
Concentrate on how you can move forward, stop dwelling on "Them", their life, set your path to a new you...let it go, all you are doing is hurting you, your hurt and turmoil does not affect them one little bit.
How do you actually know that when the other has moved on that the life they are now living is so happy, so perfect? You do not know that, it is your perception of their new life that is causing you all this emotional turmoil. It is you, that is keeping you fromt moving forward.
Concentrate on how you can move forward, stop dwelling on "Them", their life, set your path to a new you...let it go, all you are doing is hurting you, your hurt and turmoil does not affect them one little bit.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 132
I felt the same way you do a few weeks ago.
I then realized that someone, who is that far in addiction, is not as happy as they act to be. I also realized that getting to a point where the need to drink was more important than anything was not the kind of life I want to be a part of....so if that is what makes them happy...go for it! Not me!
The only goal most A's have is where the next drink is or where the party is at or who they can manipulate.
It takes some time to get heal. You will get there
I then realized that someone, who is that far in addiction, is not as happy as they act to be. I also realized that getting to a point where the need to drink was more important than anything was not the kind of life I want to be a part of....so if that is what makes them happy...go for it! Not me!
The only goal most A's have is where the next drink is or where the party is at or who they can manipulate.
It takes some time to get heal. You will get there
OSSSU!
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida
Posts: 116
WOW! That must be really difficult....I haven't even thought about the what if's, actually.
What if he does recover and do all the things he sets out to do....Of course I do hope this happens for him so he can make it to the age of 40....but I never thought of, What if he no longer speaks to me? OOF! Another blow to the ol' self esteem.
I hope you feel better soon.....I pray for everyone always, but the last few months I find myself saying extra prayers for the friends and families.
What if he does recover and do all the things he sets out to do....Of course I do hope this happens for him so he can make it to the age of 40....but I never thought of, What if he no longer speaks to me? OOF! Another blow to the ol' self esteem.
I hope you feel better soon
.....I pray for everyone always, but the last few months I find myself saying extra prayers for the friends and families.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
Well, jeez, if this guy is so awesome, and so well-adjusted that he's living this perfect fantasy life now without you, what are you doing on a sober recovery forum?
What happened -did someone push a button that made him normal after he left you? Many of us would love to get a hold of that button....
What happened -did someone push a button that made him normal after he left you? Many of us would love to get a hold of that button....
Originally Posted by DirtMagnet 
I am really struggling with this concept right now.
When they set their goals, acheive their dreams and live the life they always wanted.
When you feel left behind, angrier with yourself day by day because sometimes just getting out of bed is a struggle - not like you get any real sleep when you are in it.
When you would do almost anything for 5 minutes of real conversation with them and they make it clear that they can't be bothered and in fact, don't need to be bothered by the likes of you, who really hasn't changed a bit.
You're nothing to them now and it kills you inside when you think about it.
When you consider much further you have to go, espcially when you can't even understand how far that is.
I feel really small today.
When they set their goals, acheive their dreams and live the life they always wanted.
When you feel left behind, angrier with yourself day by day because sometimes just getting out of bed is a struggle - not like you get any real sleep when you are in it.
When you would do almost anything for 5 minutes of real conversation with them and they make it clear that they can't be bothered and in fact, don't need to be bothered by the likes of you, who really hasn't changed a bit.
You're nothing to them now and it kills you inside when you think about it.
When you consider much further you have to go, espcially when you can't even understand how far that is.
I feel really small today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 223
When they set their goals, acheive their dreams and live the life they always wanted.
Oprah Winfrey set her goals, achieved her dreams and is living the life she always wanted. Does that take anything from you or limit you in any way?
Tell us your goals, dreams and what kind of life you've always wanted. I know I'm interested.
(also--Oprah still has goals and unfulfilled dreams and a struggle to achieve them. She's not done yet. The only one I've heard of who achieved all his goals was Alexander the Great--and it didn't make him happy. He sat on a rock and wept because there were no more worlds to conquer).
When you feel left behind, angrier with yourself day by day because sometimes just getting out of bed is a struggle - not like you get any real sleep when you are in it.
This is something that a professional can help you with. Stop being mean to yourself. You got rid of one bully; don't take his place.
Depression and anger are very cureable.
When you would do almost anything for 5 minutes of real conversation with them and they make it clear that they can't be bothered and in fact, don't need to be bothered by the likes of you, who really hasn't changed a bit. You're nothing to them now and it kills you inside when you think about it.
So you only have value if they say so? Your salvation cannot be found in someone else, even in a wonderful healthy kind generous person. And he's not that, is he?
When you consider much further you have to go, espcially when you can't even understand how far that is.
Well, you don't have as far to go as someone who is still struggling with whether to leave or stay, or someone who's passing out drunk every night, or even the new baby that was born while you were writing this post.
I feel really small today.
I'm so sorry you feel that way; it must be difficult. Most of the world doesn't agree with you, most of the world accepts you as being tall and strong and interesting. Many, many people envy the long road you have in front of you and would a lot to be in your shoes.
There are hotlines and helplines staffed by people who are happy just to talk to you if you need it. It might make you feel better to talk IRL to positive people who do care. Would you consider that, it might make you feel better and less lonely.
Oprah Winfrey set her goals, achieved her dreams and is living the life she always wanted. Does that take anything from you or limit you in any way?
Tell us your goals, dreams and what kind of life you've always wanted. I know I'm interested.
(also--Oprah still has goals and unfulfilled dreams and a struggle to achieve them. She's not done yet. The only one I've heard of who achieved all his goals was Alexander the Great--and it didn't make him happy. He sat on a rock and wept because there were no more worlds to conquer).
When you feel left behind, angrier with yourself day by day because sometimes just getting out of bed is a struggle - not like you get any real sleep when you are in it.
This is something that a professional can help you with. Stop being mean to yourself. You got rid of one bully; don't take his place.
Depression and anger are very cureable.
When you would do almost anything for 5 minutes of real conversation with them and they make it clear that they can't be bothered and in fact, don't need to be bothered by the likes of you, who really hasn't changed a bit. You're nothing to them now and it kills you inside when you think about it.
So you only have value if they say so? Your salvation cannot be found in someone else, even in a wonderful healthy kind generous person. And he's not that, is he?
When you consider much further you have to go, espcially when you can't even understand how far that is.
Well, you don't have as far to go as someone who is still struggling with whether to leave or stay, or someone who's passing out drunk every night, or even the new baby that was born while you were writing this post.
I feel really small today.
I'm so sorry you feel that way; it must be difficult. Most of the world doesn't agree with you, most of the world accepts you as being tall and strong and interesting. Many, many people envy the long road you have in front of you and would a lot to be in your shoes.
There are hotlines and helplines staffed by people who are happy just to talk to you if you need it. It might make you feel better to talk IRL to positive people who do care. Would you consider that, it might make you feel better and less lonely.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by DirtMagnet
I am really struggling with this concept right now.
When they set their goals, acheive their dreams and live the life they always wanted.
When you feel left behind, angrier with yourself day by day because sometimes just getting out of bed is a struggle - not like you get any real sleep when you are in it.
When you would do almost anything for 5 minutes of real conversation with them and they make it clear that they can't be bothered and in fact, don't need to be bothered by the likes of you, who really hasn't changed a bit.
You're nothing to them now and it kills you inside when you think about it.
When you consider much further you have to go, espcially when you can't even understand how far that is.
I feel really small today.
When they set their goals, acheive their dreams and live the life they always wanted.
When you feel left behind, angrier with yourself day by day because sometimes just getting out of bed is a struggle - not like you get any real sleep when you are in it.
When you would do almost anything for 5 minutes of real conversation with them and they make it clear that they can't be bothered and in fact, don't need to be bothered by the likes of you, who really hasn't changed a bit.
You're nothing to them now and it kills you inside when you think about it.
When you consider much further you have to go, espcially when you can't even understand how far that is.
I feel really small today.
((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 330
Originally Posted by ladyhawk69
Even if he WAS living his dream life without you just remember.....relapse can happen at anytime and the dream would be killed............again. .
hugs
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