Progressive Disease...How Bad Does It Get?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 170
Progressive Disease...How Bad Does It Get?
I know that alcholism is a progressive disease. My XABF drank beer 24/7 (still does). One night he stood up by the bed in the middle of the night and just started peeing in the floor. I started yelling for him to go to the bathroom. Another night he stood up by the bed and opened a drawer and started peeing in the drawer full of clothes. I didn't find this out until the next day. Both times, he insisted he didn't do it. Another time, he went to a concert on his motorcycle and called me from the concert. I could hear all the noise in the background. He told me he was at the concert and just called to say Hi. The next day he was totally shocked to hear that I knew he went to a concert. He didn't even remember calling me. The last time I saw him, I asked him a question and he told me to F***off Stupid Bitch. I asked him to leave.
So what I'm asking is how much worse does it get than peeing in the floor or a clothes drawer? He has had no DUI yet. However, he does drive drunk all the time.
So what I'm asking is how much worse does it get than peeing in the floor or a clothes drawer? He has had no DUI yet. However, he does drive drunk all the time.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
Death or causing injury or death to another person is about the worst. So, take peeing in a drawer on one end and death on the other. Everything in between is what could happen.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
How much worse does it get?
Paternal grandfather...died drunk in a fire at the club he owned, in his 40's.
Paternal grandmother...died a year later due to advanced cirrhosis of the liver and a heart attack...she was 42.
One paternal uncle, dead...overdose of psychiatric meds/alcohol. He was in his 40's.
One maternal uncle, dead.. driving drunk on a Colorado mountain road, flipped the car (ragtop), ripped his bottom jaw plum off while the car was upside down and skidding, died a few hours later at the medical center. He was in his 40's.
One ex-husband, dead, 47 years old.
That's how bad it can get.
Paternal grandfather...died drunk in a fire at the club he owned, in his 40's.
Paternal grandmother...died a year later due to advanced cirrhosis of the liver and a heart attack...she was 42.
One paternal uncle, dead...overdose of psychiatric meds/alcohol. He was in his 40's.
One maternal uncle, dead.. driving drunk on a Colorado mountain road, flipped the car (ragtop), ripped his bottom jaw plum off while the car was upside down and skidding, died a few hours later at the medical center. He was in his 40's.
One ex-husband, dead, 47 years old.
That's how bad it can get.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by GoodKarma 
I know that alcholism is a progressive disease.
How bad does it get? My Uncle Bob died on skid row in the early 70's, still remember the call from the Detroit Police at 3am asking my Dad to come to the morgue and id the body. He was the nicest guy, he tried-in AA-to get sober and he never was able to.
One of the people I care about most in this life, her Dad is what's called a 'maintenance drinker', under the influence, half in the bag 24/7. If he tries to stop without medical assistance, he'll go into dt's. My guess is that he's going to drink himself to death, but that probably won't be listed as the cause on the death certificate
Read some of the stories here, one contributor will tell about going into dt's when their bac was .25! or something like that, this person almost died in the admitting room, started going into convulsions.
There are a lot of terrible stories out there about the absolutely devastating affects of alcoholism, I can say truthfully, I hate this f***ing disease.
It definitely gets a lot worse than peeing in a chest of drawers.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Well let's see:
It is said in AA that there are 3 "UPs" for an alcoholic:
Locked Up (jail)
Covered Up (dead)
or
Sobered Up
My bottom was death:
Most do not get the 'second' chance.
For your own sanity and well being you might want to go No Contact and allow the 'Ex' to do what ever it is he needs to do to hit his bottom.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care very much!
Love and hugs,
It is said in AA that there are 3 "UPs" for an alcoholic:
Locked Up (jail)
Covered Up (dead)
or
Sobered Up
My bottom was death:
I had an old ’63 beat up ford, typical ‘alkie car’ with all four corners banged in and a coat hanger for an antenna. I mostly kept it parked at the back of the HollywoodBowlPark parking lot, under trees. Slept in it the nights I made it back to the car.
On Sunday June 7, 1981, at approximately 4:30pm (I know it was afternoon, I had a cheap $2 digital plastic watch, it said 4:30 and it was light out so knew it was afternoon) as I would take a swig in (oh btw I was a Jack Daniels and/or Wild Turkey drinker for most of my life and was on Thunderbird Wine by this time) it felt like it was coming out of every pore of my body as fast as I put it in. It was then I had no doubts left …………………….. I was dying. I was going to die soon if I kept drinking and I was going to die soon if I tried to stop, but somehow I wanted to die sober.
I put the cap back on the bottle, threw it in the back seat with the rest of the empties and started to cry. I was sitting on the concrete bumper and I did scream out
PLEASE HELP ME
Not my typical alkie prayer of “God get me out of this one and I’ll never do it again” just PLEASE HELP ME.
I can tell you it was a pretty rough night. The next morning I knew something was terribly wrong. I knew there was a hospital called Olive View in Van Nuys, had heard about it from my Wino buddies, but had no idea where it was. I started the car, intent on finding OliveViewHospital. Yes, I found the hospital, there had to be someone guiding that automobile because I had no idea where I was going.
I found out later, by reading my medical chart and by talking to the gal that was at the admissions desk that day, that I walked up to the desk, told the gal I was an alcoholic, said I hadn’t had a drink since the day before and something was drastically wrong. She told me I was green, she was hitting the emergency button under her desk, while she directed me to a chair right across from her desk, maybe a distance of 4 feet. I never made it. I went into seizures on the floor in front of her desk.
Later in reading the medical chart from that day, I found out that when I went into seizures my BAC was .38 and my body was CRAVING MORE. My heart stopped from the seizures. They would get me started again, and after a little while I would start to seizure again. This went on all day. The last time my heart stopped, I was down for 28 minutes and the ER Dr gave up. He called it and was writing the TOD on my chart (24 hours after I stopped drinking) and my heart started on it’s own. I was given a SECOND CHANCE.
On Sunday June 7, 1981, at approximately 4:30pm (I know it was afternoon, I had a cheap $2 digital plastic watch, it said 4:30 and it was light out so knew it was afternoon) as I would take a swig in (oh btw I was a Jack Daniels and/or Wild Turkey drinker for most of my life and was on Thunderbird Wine by this time) it felt like it was coming out of every pore of my body as fast as I put it in. It was then I had no doubts left …………………….. I was dying. I was going to die soon if I kept drinking and I was going to die soon if I tried to stop, but somehow I wanted to die sober.
I put the cap back on the bottle, threw it in the back seat with the rest of the empties and started to cry. I was sitting on the concrete bumper and I did scream out
PLEASE HELP ME
Not my typical alkie prayer of “God get me out of this one and I’ll never do it again” just PLEASE HELP ME.
I can tell you it was a pretty rough night. The next morning I knew something was terribly wrong. I knew there was a hospital called Olive View in Van Nuys, had heard about it from my Wino buddies, but had no idea where it was. I started the car, intent on finding OliveViewHospital. Yes, I found the hospital, there had to be someone guiding that automobile because I had no idea where I was going.
I found out later, by reading my medical chart and by talking to the gal that was at the admissions desk that day, that I walked up to the desk, told the gal I was an alcoholic, said I hadn’t had a drink since the day before and something was drastically wrong. She told me I was green, she was hitting the emergency button under her desk, while she directed me to a chair right across from her desk, maybe a distance of 4 feet. I never made it. I went into seizures on the floor in front of her desk.
Later in reading the medical chart from that day, I found out that when I went into seizures my BAC was .38 and my body was CRAVING MORE. My heart stopped from the seizures. They would get me started again, and after a little while I would start to seizure again. This went on all day. The last time my heart stopped, I was down for 28 minutes and the ER Dr gave up. He called it and was writing the TOD on my chart (24 hours after I stopped drinking) and my heart started on it’s own. I was given a SECOND CHANCE.
For your own sanity and well being you might want to go No Contact and allow the 'Ex' to do what ever it is he needs to do to hit his bottom.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care very much!
Love and hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 170
Thank you all SO MUCH for the really eye opening posts! There were tears in my eyes as I read some of them. I needed to hear some things like that to make me stop feeling sorry for him. Sometimes I just think about him and wonder how much worse has he gotten since I've seen him.
Sailorjohn, yes I think he is exactly what you described as a "maintenance drinker'. Just drinks beer all day long everyday and he had a bottle of beer sitting by the bed at night so he could reach over and take a drink throughout the night. Would not work, just sat on the couch and watched TV and drank beer all day. He is also in his 40's
GerryP, the things I said he did in my post were back when we were together, not recently.
Such helpful posts from everyone. Thanks again.
Sailorjohn, yes I think he is exactly what you described as a "maintenance drinker'. Just drinks beer all day long everyday and he had a bottle of beer sitting by the bed at night so he could reach over and take a drink throughout the night. Would not work, just sat on the couch and watched TV and drank beer all day. He is also in his 40's
GerryP, the things I said he did in my post were back when we were together, not recently.
Such helpful posts from everyone. Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
It can go from tripping over the doorstep, to battering someone to death, or being killed themselves. It goes from a bit of a hangover to seeing giant spiders, and shaking like you can't believe.
It goes from sad to total misery, from forgetful to insane, from frown to enraged, from ordinary to unbelievable.
It is the Alcohol Train from Here to Hell, stopping all stations from Denial, Desperate and Dementia, then express from Dementia to Hell.
God bless
It goes from sad to total misery, from forgetful to insane, from frown to enraged, from ordinary to unbelievable.
It is the Alcohol Train from Here to Hell, stopping all stations from Denial, Desperate and Dementia, then express from Dementia to Hell.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 161
Hi Ms. Karma,
My XAGF has never had a DUI, never been to jail. However......
She has lost countless jobs, her job that lasted the longest was 3 months..she was sober at the time. (in the past 4 years).
She has lost custody of her kids, blames it on her ex husband.
She has lost many friends
She lost her home
She lost her dignity, her self respect and she continues down the road to nowhere.
My XAGF has never had a DUI, never been to jail. However......
She has lost countless jobs, her job that lasted the longest was 3 months..she was sober at the time. (in the past 4 years).
She has lost custody of her kids, blames it on her ex husband.
She has lost many friends
She lost her home
She lost her dignity, her self respect and she continues down the road to nowhere.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 170
Yes, I was starting to see the downward spiral. In the three years I knew him, I saw his physical appearance go downhill. He hardly ever bathed or changed clothes and could not keep a job either. Just wasn't interested. However, he sure had a lot of women calling him! I never could understand that.
Climbing hills, flying down...
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: By the Sea
Posts: 565
My alcoholic sister:
--has lost her friends
--has lost her job
--has lost her relationship
--has been removed from sober living facility after sober living facility due to drinking
--has lived in seedy, dangerous, pay by the week hotels in the worst part of the city
--has put herself in countless dangerous and life-threatening situations
--has had to move in with my parents because she had no where else to go and they continue to enable her
--continues to drink and take meds at the same time
--has broken bones, broken her head open, and nearly choked to death on her own vomit
--has tried to kill herself
--does not remember anyone she talks to when she's drinking
--is 42, has no job, no home of her own, and has isolated herself from her friends, siblings, and most of her family
That's how bad it has gotten for her, and unless she is able to accept she needs help, I can only see it getting worse from here.
Sending you good thoughts and hugs...hang in there.
--has lost her friends
--has lost her job
--has lost her relationship
--has been removed from sober living facility after sober living facility due to drinking
--has lived in seedy, dangerous, pay by the week hotels in the worst part of the city
--has put herself in countless dangerous and life-threatening situations
--has had to move in with my parents because she had no where else to go and they continue to enable her
--continues to drink and take meds at the same time
--has broken bones, broken her head open, and nearly choked to death on her own vomit
--has tried to kill herself
--does not remember anyone she talks to when she's drinking
--is 42, has no job, no home of her own, and has isolated herself from her friends, siblings, and most of her family
That's how bad it has gotten for her, and unless she is able to accept she needs help, I can only see it getting worse from here.
Sending you good thoughts and hugs...hang in there.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
For some alcoholics, the ultimate solution to overcoming the disease is death. Seems like recovery would be the better alternative, this disease baffles me.
Glad to hear that he is your ex, you don't need his kind of love!
Glad to hear that he is your ex, you don't need his kind of love!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
To me, seeing my SO peeing on the floor would be a bottom for me as a codependent to an alcoholic. As an alcoholic, peeing in someone's drawer would be a bottom for me.
I don't think reaching bottom has to be something horrific, according to someone else's standards. If it is bad by my own standards, then that's bottom for me.
I don't think reaching bottom has to be something horrific, according to someone else's standards. If it is bad by my own standards, then that's bottom for me.
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