Jess01

I joined this forum a few months ago when I discovered that my BF (ex now) was an alcoholic. The advice and support I received was invaluable.

I was advised to read the book - Co-Dependant No More by Melody Beattie, which I did. And boy....this is exactly what I am!

After 33 years of living a confusing and painful life going from one wreck of a relationship to another, including friendships and jobs I am so relieved to know that Im not actually crazy!

I used to think that I was sent to certain people in their life like an angel to help them through troubled times, but now I realise it was just me being co-dependant.

Since reading this book I have also discovered that my mother is severely co-dependant and my younger sister has traits of it. I will advise them to read this book as it has helped me in more ways than one.

Thankyou to the wise people on this board who led me in the right direction, without your help and guidance I dont know where I would be today

keepinon

Isn't that book awesome. I'm so codependant too. working on it!

bookwyrm

Codependent No More is an amazing book - it made me realise I wasn't going mad!

This made me smile...I did exactly the same after my first reading. I even bought my mum a copy! Rescuing is a hard habit to break!!

Jess01

Indeed it is!! I think I will always need to help people at some stage but now I have learnt where to draw the line and put MY needs first.

Learn2Live

Isn't it wonderful to finally find the reason you have been having so much trouble in your life, to understand what has been going on with you, and then be able to actually do something about it? What a great feeling! I am so glad you have been able to take this step in your life! Keep learning and exploring.

Jess01

Yes it is
I feel like a light inside of me has finally switched on

mrphillipctrs1

I often told my XAGF that I thought that God brought me to her in her time of need. I was not far off. God brought me to her, so that I could see that he wanted me to change.

She still hasn't got the message.

coffeedrinker

I know I have a knack of touching people. I have heard sooo many times, how easy I am to talk to, how I have an engaging smile, how I put people at ease - often after a first meeting, or a short time of being acquainted. I've always felt good about that. We all have gifts and when we use them to make the world a tiny bit better place, that's a good thing.

We've all read that "People come into your life for a season, or for a reason" piece. I resisted the notion that xabf came into my life to bring me to my knees, to create such turmoil inside of me so that it would point me to a lesson. It took a VERY long time to finally decide that it was true, and then to really accept it, and then to move on without him. Heck, it's still hard.

I used to think that I was sent to certain people in their life like an angel to help them through troubled times, but now I realise it was just me being co-dependant.
Boy, Jess, does this ever ring true for me. Thank you for putting it out there like that.

And mrphillip, you also nailed it.

So now, the tricky balancing act is how to go into the world with love and compassion, and help when it's appropriate, but not to cross that line into the other, icky stuff.

Thanks for the post, Jess