AH in Rehab
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: chicago IL
Posts: 38
AH in Rehab
Its been a long couple months. AH finally decided he had a problem. Has been in outpatient rehab program 2 weeks now. Has anyone out there had experience with this? What should I expect? He has been sober and following the program, but is there lilke a honeymoom period and then the **** will hit the fan again? Is there a pattern I should be looking for? I am so happy, but I guess I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know the Dr. told us AH has a 50% chance for sucess if he finishes the program (6 weeks). Any feedback from anyone???He is also being treated for depression (which came first the drinking or the depression?)Thanks for any responses
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
I don't think there is any
set formula for how this works. It depends on the individual and how committed they are to recovery. This is a time when you really need to take things one day at a time. You could worry about him slipping, but that isn't going to change anything. He might, and he might not. These are the circumstances in which we Anons find out exactly how powerless we are. Try focusing on getting help for you and working on your recovery.
As for the depression, I can't answer your question. It's like which came first...the chicken or the egg. Do they drink because they are depressed? Or are they depressed because they drink? Alcohol is a depressant. So if a person suffering from depression drinks, it just exacerbates the problem. I think it has become standard procedure for alcoholics to also be treated for depression when they go into rehab. (Someone correct me if I'm wrong here.)
Quit waiting for the other shoe to drop. If it's gonna happen, there is nothing you can do to change that. You CAN change how you will react if it does. I hope your husband is on his way to a healthier life.
Peace,
Gabe
As for the depression, I can't answer your question. It's like which came first...the chicken or the egg. Do they drink because they are depressed? Or are they depressed because they drink? Alcohol is a depressant. So if a person suffering from depression drinks, it just exacerbates the problem. I think it has become standard procedure for alcoholics to also be treated for depression when they go into rehab. (Someone correct me if I'm wrong here.)
Quit waiting for the other shoe to drop. If it's gonna happen, there is nothing you can do to change that. You CAN change how you will react if it does. I hope your husband is on his way to a healthier life.
Peace,
Gabe
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: chicago IL
Posts: 38
So how do I react if he slips? Does he keep getting one more chance? I know no one can answer this but me, but when does support become enabling? I know I should be thinking one day at a time but this is the first time in 2 weeks I have really thought about what happens if he fails. Pretty scary when all I've been thinking about is he finally is getting the help he so badly needed. Thanks for the thoughts. I will keep it in perspective.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 53
Gabe-
Depends on what you guys mean by 'treated' for depression. If you mean therapy, it's part of any therapy I would think. If you're talking drugs then that's NOT done with everyone--the last thing rehab specialists want to do is put a recovering alkie on a drug unless it is medicallly necessary.
Sadwife--I think right now you need to make a choice, a la Dr. Phil. Are you going to view this as positive and give him the encouragement because you 'know' he can make it , or will you just be waiting for him to fail? Of course that will always be in the back of your mind but if it is in the front then he will pick up on it. Your whole question is addressed in Melody Beattie's "Codependent No More"--I didn't read those parts closely because we never made it that far.
Has anybody at this site ever considered selling this book???
Depends on what you guys mean by 'treated' for depression. If you mean therapy, it's part of any therapy I would think. If you're talking drugs then that's NOT done with everyone--the last thing rehab specialists want to do is put a recovering alkie on a drug unless it is medicallly necessary.
Sadwife--I think right now you need to make a choice, a la Dr. Phil. Are you going to view this as positive and give him the encouragement because you 'know' he can make it , or will you just be waiting for him to fail? Of course that will always be in the back of your mind but if it is in the front then he will pick up on it. Your whole question is addressed in Melody Beattie's "Codependent No More"--I didn't read those parts closely because we never made it that far.
Has anybody at this site ever considered selling this book???
Silver Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Colorado
Posts: 28
You're very fortunate that he is seeking treatment. My A is still in total denial. I wish you both good luck. As I've been told many times by this group, don't stake your happiness and well being on his success or failure. I know the euphoria when my wife appears to be trying to stop. I've learned to keep myself together when she slips back to the old pattern. Gabe said it better, but I just wanted to say that taking care of yourself and your feelings is the right place to be right now.
FF
FF
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Washington
Posts: 129
Gabe is right...
Sadwife--There is no set formula for how it works...how nice if there was though!
My H went thru rehab twice before I knew him, once for heroin addiction, once for alcohol. He's been thru rehab twice since we've been together-- both times within 7 months of each other.
He's been clean this time for over 5 months now. He says the difference this time is he turned it over to God to handle.
Being sober doesn't make them wonderful though--they still have to learn how to deal with life AND stay sober.
What you can do is concentrate on you now and let his problems be his. and then IF he slips again, you will be better able to make a decision on what you want to for you and not for him. My H had this conversation the other day again and I told him I don't worry about if he will relapse again, yes it crosses my mind now and then, but I don't stress about it. If he does, he does, that's his stuff, I couldn't stop him if he wanted to so why worry about it? Don't think about what if's, they will drive you crazy!
And Gabe--I think you are right about it being standard procedure for A's to be treated for depression as well. Both times my H was in rehab I watched them all getting their anti-depressants and same thing when he was in the recovery house. It is almost like the two go hand in hand--it's a little scary really--esp since my H's doc told him he was misdiagnosed the 1st time they put him on 'em.
My H went thru rehab twice before I knew him, once for heroin addiction, once for alcohol. He's been thru rehab twice since we've been together-- both times within 7 months of each other.
He's been clean this time for over 5 months now. He says the difference this time is he turned it over to God to handle.
Being sober doesn't make them wonderful though--they still have to learn how to deal with life AND stay sober.
What you can do is concentrate on you now and let his problems be his. and then IF he slips again, you will be better able to make a decision on what you want to for you and not for him. My H had this conversation the other day again and I told him I don't worry about if he will relapse again, yes it crosses my mind now and then, but I don't stress about it. If he does, he does, that's his stuff, I couldn't stop him if he wanted to so why worry about it? Don't think about what if's, they will drive you crazy!
And Gabe--I think you are right about it being standard procedure for A's to be treated for depression as well. Both times my H was in rehab I watched them all getting their anti-depressants and same thing when he was in the recovery house. It is almost like the two go hand in hand--it's a little scary really--esp since my H's doc told him he was misdiagnosed the 1st time they put him on 'em.
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