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After 5 months, he contacted me today

Old 05-18-2010, 04:44 PM
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After 5 months, he contacted me today

He dumped me in January.

This past weekend, his ex-girlfriend (someone he dated for about 2 months last year) was profiled in a front page story in the most prominent newspaper in my city; she is an architect and the newspaper investigated her for some questionable work she did.

He took it as a reason to get in touch with me. He sent me a very chatty e-mail. Said he's still sober. He's lost about 15 more pounds. He said everything's "ok" with him. He asked how I'm doing and what I've been up to lately.

I haven't responded. I don't know if I will respond. I'm still shocked to have seen an email from him at all.
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Old 05-18-2010, 05:01 PM
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He baiting you.....stay clear of the trap......you are 5 months out and into your own recovery....keep it that way. If you have to still care about him then so be it but do it from a great distance....block his emails if need be.

stand strong

Janitw
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Old 05-18-2010, 05:37 PM
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Jeez, what a dork.

I agree--no contact--it is in your best interest not to respond.
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Old 05-18-2010, 05:50 PM
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Agreed.

The best response is no response.
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Old 05-18-2010, 07:10 PM
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I hope you mean HE'S a dork, and not me!! ;-)

Yeah - I don't think I will take that bait. His phone numbers are blocked, so he can't call me. But he's using a different e-mail address, which is why the e-mail got through to me. I've now blocked it. The only problem is that he can create new e-mail addresses every day if he wants.

I've decided not to respond. It's still the same - it's all about HIM. About HIM losing weight; HE'S still not drinking; things are going okay for HIM. I guess he still thinks the world is revolving soley around him.

Anyway - thanks for your responses. I wasn't going to respond to him, but it sure helps to get your feedback!

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Old 05-18-2010, 07:42 PM
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I read a word for that. For when they just write like all's well in whoville after a while. It was referred to as a "Ping".

You got "pinged"!

I read that word and love it. Basically it's about people in dysfunctional relationships not letting go. So, they "ping" sometimes forever! I'm going to try to never get sucked into a "ping". There was also a reference to "Bombs" (I've done this one myself in the past <blush>) Where they send off a note in some state of crisis or another.

I got me a pinger. As long as I see that that's what it is. Then it's easier to ignore! :-)
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Old 05-18-2010, 07:48 PM
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you sound so strong, bumbling!
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Old 05-18-2010, 07:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Alizerin View Post
I read a word for that. For when they just write like all's well in whoville after a while. It was referred to as a "Ping".

You got "pinged"!

I read that word and love it. Basically it's about people in dysfunctional relationships not letting go. So, they "ping" sometimes forever!
Love it!! That's a perfect name for it.
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:02 PM
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Thanks for posting this and letting us know. Very, very important to know this may happen and to see the responses. I would agree, let it be.
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Old 05-19-2010, 04:36 AM
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My late XAH used to let mutual friends "know" how well he was doing, and how good life was for him. I smelled a rat every time I heard this from those friends, because I just could not believe he was not drinking, let alone having a ball. I was right on target.

As what I heard from him was a ping, and that I smelled a rat......does that mean I was in the midst of his game of Ping Pong?

Sorry.....not the best but it wouldn't go away.

God bless
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Old 05-19-2010, 10:38 AM
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I don't know if I'm strong, or just really scared of getting stuck in that dysfunctional, unhealthy rut.

I've had 5 months of being with me (and I LIKE me!!); of doing and thinking whatever I want, whenever I want. I've been slowly...s l o w l y trying to recover from my relationship with him. I've been very alone sometimes, and very scared; and I've felt so bad about myself thinking I'm not attractive enough or intelligent enough or interesting enough or sexy enough. Being with him brings out the worst in me, and I don't want to go back there.

Sometimes just the THOUGHT of even talking to him makes my heart pound; I realize I have a physical reaction - and not in a good way.

So I don't think it's strength really - more like self-preservation.
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Old 05-19-2010, 11:27 AM
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I'm a real snarky bird and my feathers start ruffling when I hear of XA's doing this.

Is it me or is it just a little coinky dinky that one of his lucky ladies gets some bad press so he decides to check in on another one on his list?

What's he lookin' to find out? Whether you've still got your act together. And if so, does that mean you're still a potential fall back position for him. WTF?

I'm in agreement that the delete button was made for just these occasions. Get rid of it and don't respond. He dumped you and it was the nicest thing he could have done for you in all reality. Who wants someone who keep sniffing around his EX's. Ick!

Alice
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Old 05-19-2010, 02:33 PM
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Alice,
That's EXACTLY what he does. He keeps in touch with a lot of women from his past.

But he's going to be in for a little of bit shock when he doesn't get a rise out of me. And I love that, quite frankly. It makes me feel that finally I have some power. And I'm not giving that up for anything.

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