lulu1974

I dont understand how they function at work and in real life. I noticed mine keeps himself very isolated in the outside world. It comes across as being shy but he just closes himself off to everyone and everything. Anyone know what I mean? Why is that?

Lulu

Still Waters

There is no such thing as a functional alcoholic, only an alcoholic in a stage of alcoholism.

You're is in the earlier stages, that's all.

Mine was the same, he isolated himself completely from any friends he may have had and his entire family. He never had anyone in the house at all...he couldn't, it was too filthy.

Ha ha, funny story: During the family week at the rehab center he told his Mom that he was hurt by her not staying in closer touch with him. Pure unadulterated manipulation, even then.

Kerbcrawler

Possibly a lot to do with havin a bangin head..an feelin like s##t..the last thing you really want an need..is unecessary smalltalk...my take anyhow...not that ive had much experience myself of course.....yes its a pain in the butt way to live..no 2 ways about...gotta sort this mess..gets damm well unbearable...if my a/w would only be a little nicer to me i wouldnt have to keep plummeting to these depths...its a two way marital sayin we both use.... gonna try soooooooooh very hard this time..

Jadmack25

My exAH managed to do his job perfectly, up til the last 12 months, when his boss (very good friend) checked AH's work, amended and corrected it, and covered for him.

When boss resigned for promotion elsewhere, 3 months before AH 65th birthday, it put them in a tight spot, so AH took early retirement and left the same day as his friendly boss. It was just after AH turned 65 that I did my walk out the door.

God bless

Kassie2

Since I actually work with my husband I can tell you that I stopped believing in "functional" A's. When I met him on the job - he had been a loner. He remained aloof from everyone but not in any mean way. He hid in his office a lot ( previous people in his position never had the time to see their office). While hiding in the office, he would answer the phone or pages quickly to give the appearance of being active and available. He would tell anyone anything was ok and then not do it. But b/c he said he would, people just thought he was too busy or forgot. He told half truths which allowed others to assume things that were not true.

During a cooling off period between us early on - the highers ups with whom I have always maintained a great relationship with started making remarks to me about his, "rigid thinking, inflexible behavior and poor adjustment to the way things are done here" No mention of his unavailability. He was also good with the paperwork. His boss covered for him ( he happens to be married to an A wife) and made excuses as well.

He rarely took time off except to recover from a really bad binge or injuries sustained while drinking and then lied about how he got them. I was sworn to secrecy. I listened to him lie about how we did things over the weekend or on vacations and holidays which did not happen. But no one suspected a problem.

It is all in the way we assume, interpret, and don't really ask each other about the details of our lives. When he got into recovery, everyone was surprised and could only encourage him. He lied about that too. He would relapse and let everyone think he was still sober. He would talk about things he learned in AA just for show.

It has been really hard to watch and listen and know that he is full of b***** in front of others. To be the only one who knows what really goes on in his sad life.