Since I actually work with my husband I can tell you that I stopped believing in "functional" A's. When I met him on the job - he had been a loner. He remained aloof from everyone but not in any mean way. He hid in his office a lot ( previous people in his position never had the time to see their office). While hiding in the office, he would answer the phone or pages quickly to give the appearance of being active and available. He would tell anyone anything was ok and then not do it. But b/c he said he would, people just thought he was too busy or forgot. He told half truths which allowed others to assume things that were not true.
During a cooling off period between us early on - the highers ups with whom I have always maintained a great relationship with started making remarks to me about his, "rigid thinking, inflexible behavior and poor adjustment to the way things are done here" No mention of his unavailability. He was also good with the paperwork. His boss covered for him ( he happens to be married to an A wife) and made excuses as well.
He rarely took time off except to recover from a really bad binge or injuries sustained while drinking and then lied about how he got them. I was sworn to secrecy. I listened to him lie about how we did things over the weekend or on vacations and holidays which did not happen. But no one suspected a problem.
It is all in the way we assume, interpret, and don't really ask each other about the details of our lives. When he got into recovery, everyone was surprised and could only encourage him. He lied about that too. He would relapse and let everyone think he was still sober. He would talk about things he learned in AA just for show.
It has been really hard to watch and listen and know that he is full of b***** in front of others. To be the only one who knows what really goes on in his sad life.