now for the tricky part
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 330
now for the tricky part
Dear friends
So he came back from rehab 30 March. Drank more - threatened suicide and his mother came to his rescue 5 days ago. He stopped again. Went to 2 AA meetings and went to a therapist. Got a sponsor (first time ever) and plans 4 AA meetings a week.
Him and his mother came to visit the children tonight. The man I cared for deeply seemed to be back and sitting on the couch next to me. Polite - even though I took him to court while he was in rehab. Goodlooking , intelligent,charming,friendly even. Sharing jokes with the youngest.
For the first time since my recovery started I could see the clear picture. He is still sick. The few days of being sober does not mean that he is better. He has a lot of recoverywork to do. He has to be committed to it. For the first time I knew it is really over between us. We will not be good for each other's recoveries. I had moments that I just wanted to hug him and say that I still love him , but I have to have dignity here. He had (probably still has) a very deep emotional affair (maybe more but he lied so much I do not no what to believe )with a woman he met in rehab 2 years ago.
I am still sad. I know that he loved me in his warped way. Addiction is just such a robber of relationships.
I am looking forward to my new life. I am at peace. Thank you everybody for helping me to let go!
I need a hug and a shoulder now...lots of tears
So he came back from rehab 30 March. Drank more - threatened suicide and his mother came to his rescue 5 days ago. He stopped again. Went to 2 AA meetings and went to a therapist. Got a sponsor (first time ever) and plans 4 AA meetings a week.
Him and his mother came to visit the children tonight. The man I cared for deeply seemed to be back and sitting on the couch next to me. Polite - even though I took him to court while he was in rehab. Goodlooking , intelligent,charming,friendly even. Sharing jokes with the youngest.
For the first time since my recovery started I could see the clear picture. He is still sick. The few days of being sober does not mean that he is better. He has a lot of recoverywork to do. He has to be committed to it. For the first time I knew it is really over between us. We will not be good for each other's recoveries. I had moments that I just wanted to hug him and say that I still love him , but I have to have dignity here. He had (probably still has) a very deep emotional affair (maybe more but he lied so much I do not no what to believe )with a woman he met in rehab 2 years ago.
I am still sad. I know that he loved me in his warped way. Addiction is just such a robber of relationships.
I am looking forward to my new life. I am at peace. Thank you everybody for helping me to let go!
I need a hug and a shoulder now...lots of tears
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
freefalling...I'm so sorry it has come to this for you, and yet I am glad that you have been given the gift of realization. That's not to say that there's not more pain ahead, but at least you know where you stand.
Sending you many good **hugs** all the way from Canada
Sending you many good **hugs** all the way from Canada
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
My X is trying to "friend me" on Facebook. I am glad I have gotten the gift of realization. I just won't invite the problem(addictions) back into my life. Why would I do that to myself again......? I like living in the solution instead of the problem. It is just one of his "hooks" that don't work on me anymore. Thank God . When I do get mushy about him nowadays I know it is just my "Code" disease doing pushups. No contact is really better - and I took a long time to realize it. I would consider it a type of slip. Been there, done that , have the t in 5 colors! It is nice we are not alone in this. It makes it easier.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Originally Posted by Carol Star 
My X is trying to "friend me" on Facebook. I am glad I have gotten the gift of realization. I just won't invite the problem(addictions) back into my life. Why would I do that to myself again......? I like living in the solution instead of the problem. It is just one of his "hooks" that don't work on me anymore. Thank God . When I do get mushy about him nowadays I know it is just my "Code" disease doing pushups. No contact is really better - and I took a long time to realize it. I would consider it a type of slip. Been there, done that , have the t in 5 colors! It is nice we are not alone in this. It makes it easier.
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