He got the papers...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 302
Duly noted.
I think part of it is that I was part of that family for so long, that's the part that bothers me. The party line has not changed. And the relationship is dead. But I care a lot about his family, which is surprisingly pretty normal.
And it's not like I planned it this way. It's the court server that took so freaking long.
Anyway, now it feels really crummy.
I'm not going to call. But I think I might send an email with condolences. (And say that I really am not comfortable with calls. I think he'll respect that, and it's a boundary I'll just enforce.)
Or maybe I'll send it tomorrow.
I'd just go to bed, except that I'm switching to nights for the rest of the week and need to stay up late. Groan.
When in doubt, do nothing. And so I'll sit on my hands and do nothing. Maybe there's something on HBO...
I think part of it is that I was part of that family for so long, that's the part that bothers me. The party line has not changed. And the relationship is dead. But I care a lot about his family, which is surprisingly pretty normal.
And it's not like I planned it this way. It's the court server that took so freaking long.
Anyway, now it feels really crummy.
I'm not going to call. But I think I might send an email with condolences. (And say that I really am not comfortable with calls. I think he'll respect that, and it's a boundary I'll just enforce.)
Or maybe I'll send it tomorrow.
I'd just go to bed, except that I'm switching to nights for the rest of the week and need to stay up late. Groan.
When in doubt, do nothing. And so I'll sit on my hands and do nothing. Maybe there's something on HBO...
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
When in doubt, do nothing.
If you're really stuck with nothing to do, I have about 10 articles that need copy editing. Can you do that? I'll put ya to work.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
Simply more BS. You will hopefully reach a point where it becomes more entertaining than irritating.
Originally Posted by DMC 
Well, here we sort of go. I am *so* trying to stay off that rollercoaster!
I had my attorney file back on the 5th, and had been waiting to hear what I knew would come. And today, I got that phone call. I'd planned not to answer, and since he doesn't have my work schedule, there's no way to know if I would answer. (I don't carry my phone at work, and don't generally answer it.) He's called 5 times, but only left one message.
Anyway, I got a nasty but brief message basically thanking me for *-ing his recovery. Nice.
: Which means that he got served.
I got a similar email, but it wasn't quite as mean:
"Today just became the single most worst day of my life. You just struck a major blow to my recovery."
And I wonder just whose recovery he refers to, because my recovery is coming along quite well, thankyouverymuch. And I'm guessing that someone truly in recovery wouldn't put it that way, because that sounds an awful lot like an A trying to hang on the only way he knows. (I have learned a ton from you guys. I learned a lot from AlAnon, but hearing all your stories, and realizing that they're nearly identical to my own has been huge.)
I do probably need to write him back, but will give him some time to cool off. I don't know if he'll be drunk (and I really don't care), but I'm not going to call. I will probably just email him back. Calling is tough, mostly because his denial is so thick. He swore he was going to fix things up and down so many times. Would have been nice if he'd done so, oh, 7 years ago when we first went into counseling. He's living with his parents, who are staunchly anti-alcohol (for religious reasons.) I don't know how they or he were cursed with this disease. Anyway, his parents will be home from work soon, and if he's drunk, they'll be on him. Bless them, because I just can't do it anymore.
They know this is coming. Maybe not today, but it's been in the works. He should have seen the red flags I've been waving at him. (Like the email about how we needed to divide up the stuff, and I needed to ship the rest of his stuff to him.) He didn't want to talk about it then. He never does. Guess reality is going to hit hard. I hope he doesn't do anything stupid, but I can't control it.
I'll let you all know how it goes.
D
I had my attorney file back on the 5th, and had been waiting to hear what I knew would come. And today, I got that phone call. I'd planned not to answer, and since he doesn't have my work schedule, there's no way to know if I would answer. (I don't carry my phone at work, and don't generally answer it.) He's called 5 times, but only left one message.
Anyway, I got a nasty but brief message basically thanking me for *-ing his recovery. Nice.
: Which means that he got served.I got a similar email, but it wasn't quite as mean:
"Today just became the single most worst day of my life. You just struck a major blow to my recovery."
And I wonder just whose recovery he refers to, because my recovery is coming along quite well, thankyouverymuch. And I'm guessing that someone truly in recovery wouldn't put it that way, because that sounds an awful lot like an A trying to hang on the only way he knows. (I have learned a ton from you guys. I learned a lot from AlAnon, but hearing all your stories, and realizing that they're nearly identical to my own has been huge.)
I do probably need to write him back, but will give him some time to cool off. I don't know if he'll be drunk (and I really don't care), but I'm not going to call. I will probably just email him back. Calling is tough, mostly because his denial is so thick. He swore he was going to fix things up and down so many times. Would have been nice if he'd done so, oh, 7 years ago when we first went into counseling. He's living with his parents, who are staunchly anti-alcohol (for religious reasons.) I don't know how they or he were cursed with this disease. Anyway, his parents will be home from work soon, and if he's drunk, they'll be on him. Bless them, because I just can't do it anymore.
They know this is coming. Maybe not today, but it's been in the works. He should have seen the red flags I've been waving at him. (Like the email about how we needed to divide up the stuff, and I needed to ship the rest of his stuff to him.) He didn't want to talk about it then. He never does. Guess reality is going to hit hard. I hope he doesn't do anything stupid, but I can't control it.
I'll let you all know how it goes.
D
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