need some peace
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: portland, oregon
Posts: 59
need some peace
Ever since i moved out of my ABF place he has been giving me nothing but grief. Unless things go his way he tries to make my life miserable. He is holding the rest of my things hostage. I am finally going to attend my first AA meeting tonight. I just need some peace. I had hope but realize that he will always try to control me if he is in my life. If it werent for my counselor i wouldnt have gotten through things as far as i have. 
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
How important are the things he still has to you? Is it worth your peace of mind to keep bantering back and forth with him?
I know, for me, as long as I continued to stay in contact with my EXAH, I was in an emotional tailspin for days.
I got tired of living that way.
I know, for me, as long as I continued to stay in contact with my EXAH, I was in an emotional tailspin for days.
I got tired of living that way.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Can you decide whether you need or want the items he's holding hostage? If you can just let them go...next time he contacts you tell him he can do whatever with them as you are finished with him.
If, however you do want them back, then perhaps see the police and ask for help in getting them. I did it with my late XAH, and he crumbled when I arrived with 2 cops and my list of goods.
Control freaks often turn to mush when the come face to face with REAL power and authority and I hope this works for you.
If you do go down this path, I would also tell your ex in front of cops, that YOU do not want any further contact with him.
God bless
If, however you do want them back, then perhaps see the police and ask for help in getting them. I did it with my late XAH, and he crumbled when I arrived with 2 cops and my list of goods.
Control freaks often turn to mush when the come face to face with REAL power and authority and I hope this works for you.
If you do go down this path, I would also tell your ex in front of cops, that YOU do not want any further contact with him.
God bless
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: portland, oregon
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by Jadmack25 
Can you decide whether you need or want the items he's holding hostage? If you can just let them go...next time he contacts you tell him he can do whatever with them as you are finished with him.
If, however you do want them back, then perhaps see the police and ask for help in getting them. I did it with my late XAH, and he crumbled when I arrived with 2 cops and my list of goods.
Control freaks often turn to mush when the come face to face with REAL power and authority and I hope this works for you.
If you do go down this path, I would also tell your ex in front of cops, that YOU do not want any further contact with him.
God bless
If, however you do want them back, then perhaps see the police and ask for help in getting them. I did it with my late XAH, and he crumbled when I arrived with 2 cops and my list of goods.
Control freaks often turn to mush when the come face to face with REAL power and authority and I hope this works for you.
If you do go down this path, I would also tell your ex in front of cops, that YOU do not want any further contact with him.
God bless
Since i wasnt married to him and he is trying to tell me i owe him money for past rent even though he told me previously not to worry about it do i have a leg to stand on? I really dont want to have a bunch or more drama from him.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Married or not, this stuff is still yours. As for his chopping and changing his mind about rent,
that is something else. You have a right to get your belongings, and he has a right to sue you for unpaid rent he claims you owe.
I would bet that he has no intention of hauling his relationship and story with you, thru any legal proceedings.
Perhaps a call to say you want this stuff and will take legal action for it, would be enough to get him to give it back, but if you really do fear bigger hassles if you do that, then you may have to let it go.
God bless
that is something else. You have a right to get your belongings, and he has a right to sue you for unpaid rent he claims you owe.
I would bet that he has no intention of hauling his relationship and story with you, thru any legal proceedings.
Perhaps a call to say you want this stuff and will take legal action for it, would be enough to get him to give it back, but if you really do fear bigger hassles if you do that, then you may have to let it go.
God bless
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
yesterday i wore a shirt that suits me well but reminds me of the bad times lived with XBF. i asked my sis if she liked it and i will save it in a box for her. its funny, perhaps if you get those items, when you see them afterwards you wont be able to avoid them bringing triggers and bad memories of him. perhaps you could start saving to obtain similar or BETTER items? that is what i did and i feel better buying new shoes and clothes 
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