nodaybut2day

Dear SR family,

This week-end, it became apparent to me that certain things in my life have irrevocably changed (for the better). I hadn't noticed them at first, but as I was driving around yesterday and as I woke up this morning, they became glaringly obvious. I thought I'd share them with you, as silly as they are.

• I no longer have to freak out every time I go grocery shopping because XAH is on my case to spend more for things he "needs", or asking me to pay for his damn beer.
• I no longer have to stress when something is broken, dropped or forgotten. With XAH is was a reason to FREAK OUT at me and blame me for stupidity/carelessness. With my family, there is laughter instead of anger.
• I no longer have to make trips to the SAQ (the local booze store) and pay for XAH's booze because he's tight on money (again).
• I no longer have to figure out how to borrow my mother's car so I can drive XAH out to the native reservation and buy contraband cigarettes for him.
• I no longer have to be stressed when driving because I don't have a control-freak side driver sitting next to me, berating me!
• I no longer have to spend all my holidays ensuring that XAH is happy, filled with booze and not annoyed with my family or friends.
• I no longer have to do 6 loads of laundry, countless loads of dishes and all the household cleaning every week and listen to XAH telling me that he "did his share" by cooking fried fatty meals once in a while when he felt like it.

And last (I think this is particularly silly of me), I threw out the bedding I used to sleep on with XAH. It's symbolic more than anything, but it was depressing to slip into those sheets every night.

Anyone else notice the simple little things changing in your lives on a daily basis?

Pelican

Felixible straws make me happy! I realized that this past week.

PB&J is a meal that I am thankful to have!

Forgetting it is football season....

Stereosteveo

This I have found to be one of the greatest gifts of recovery. Laughing is unavoidable when we really begin to see how insane things had become.

GiveLove

One of the biggest things for me was that I looked at myself in the mirror differently.

I used to worry over it all, seeing every little pound gained as "he's going to want someone else," seeing my face, which wasn't as pretty as the girls in the bar where he hung out, seeing the lines around my eyes and panicking about aging. I was competing with alcohol, you see, and constantly losing no matter what I did. For me, it was because I wasn't Enough. Ever.

When I fully detached from him I started to look in the mirror and notice what was good about me. Not drop-dead gorgeous, but with pretty eyes, a very quick smile, healthy skin washed with sunlight and fresh air. A healthy, muscular body. A woman who laughs easily, who hugs easily, and who is strong, smart, and capable. NOTHING to do with "keeping him" or "winning him" or anything like that. Just me -- and happy with how I turned out. Happy with who I am and what I bring to Life's party.

That's what it feels like to crawl out from under the thumb of being in love with an addict.

Thanks for your post, noday. I'm so happy for the changes you've made possible for yourself.

ItsmeAlice

You have discovered my favorite thing about not living with an alcoholic anymore....no freak outs!

Cat barfed....aw poor kitty.
Dog chewed up a sock...yay, a reason to get new socks.
Out of chips...ok, less snacking is a good thing.
Feeling worn out...have a nap!

With XABF, all of these things would have resulted in stomping, cursing, berating, and of course drinking to forget the inconvenience of it all.


Alice

Live

It will get even richer, when that day hits you when you really feel your freedom....makes me do the snoopy dance!!!!!! LOL

I thought everybody, men and women, tossed the sheets!

chrisea

no freak outs - priceless
bank account has money & always balances
no side driver - have a gps, it's like having a calm friend giving directions
no calls in the middle of the night
get to sleep in/nap, anytime I want
life is good

wanting

I just got new sheets! They are deep purple, and I got little pale yellow side tables. I love how it looks. I just spent the past two weeks moving into a small apartment. I love downsizing so much - in all areas of my life. Simplicity is bliss.

Jadmack25

Let's all do the Snoopy dance.

God bless

GiveLove

Congratulations, Wanting! What great news!!!!!

barb dwyer

absolutely NOT silly in th teensiest bit!!!!

It makes your bed... YOUR bed.

Live

Jadmack...you always make me laugh....okay, if I stick my noise in the air like that, I will get dizzy and fall down.....maybe I should try it out on the bed, but I would fall off! LOL

JACKRUSSELLGIRL

Jadmack you are too funny!!! I love the snoopy DANCE and it is a hell of lot better than doing the alcoholic DANCE! Hey, I think I am onto something, I am going to think of the snoopy dance every time I have the urge to try the alcoholic dance.