onceuponatime2

Why do I allow AH to affect my peace of mind? I suppose I wouldn't be human if his alcoholic, abusive behavior didn't affect me. But, I'm beginning to think that the only way to have a normal life is to leave him. In my head I know it is the right thing to do. I would tell my own daughter to run for her life. But my heart, and my own fears of leaving hold me back. I hate that.

I try to detach when he is trying to get a reaction out of me. It doesn't always work. If I ignore unacceptable verbal behavior, he ups the ante, and throws things... sometimes at me. I've been married to him for almost 24 years. How do you leave and start over after that long? When we married, I moved away from my family to be near his. This scares me a bit because I'm sure his family would blame me. They already hold me responsible for his sobriety or lack of it. Sorry, for the rambling. I've been thinking about this, and just needed to say it outloud to someone who understands. Thanks for listening.

barb dwyer

Vent all you need to hon.

PHIZ007

I hear you!.....We are only human and of course we stuff up sometimes too!!....I am also learning to detach.....gee it takes some practice!! But the more I do it the easier it becomes and thats a good thing!
There will be others along shortly to help more with your questions as I haven't left yet and am still in the planning process!!....I am becoming more comfortable with myself though every day and thank goodness for SR as it really keeps me sane!! There are many many wonderful people here
You are not alone......I read read and read more to help educate myself on this dreadful disease....both on Sr and books many that are recommended on this site.
One of the most important things I really have learnt along the way is to take care of myself.......again practice makes it easier.....HIS alcoholism is HIS to own!....it is so hard though....do something nice for YOU today.......all the best Phiz

onceuponatime2

Thanks for the replys. Everyone on here is so nice and supportive.

KerBearz

This, to me, is the 10 million dollar question. Why do I allow my AH to affect my peace of mind? It sounds like you and I are in a very similar boat and I am struggling with these same issues. How do I leave my marriage after 21 years? Why do I give my AH power over my serenity? The answer is "I don't know!" Maybe it will help you to know that you are not alone... hugs to you!

PHIZ007

and I too am really struggling with it all today......it totally sucks!