Nightmare21

I've been trying to convince my husband to seek therapy or at the very lease, get help for his drinking but no anvil. Every time I bring it up he's quick to change the subject or ignores my comments. When he does talk about therapy, he claims he's not ready to talk about our daughter and that he doesn't think he ever will be. He would rather grieve privately and that talking about her and things surrounding her death is very painful. He seems to hold a lot of anger, especially towards our daughter. He said he'd try to control his drinking in the future, but nothing has changed. He still has his 7 beers after work

The holidays have been very difficult as I'm sure many of you understand. We both decided not to do christmas because neither one of us is up to it. Thanksgiving was non existant this year - we both went to work and went about our normal daily routine. Even though Victoria HATED holidays and didn't want anything to do with it. It doesn't feel very holidayish.

Pelican

(((hugs)))

I'm sorry that he is not ready to reach out for help. Anger is part of the grieving process. The anger needs to be expressed in a healthy way.

It was suggested to me that I find healthy ways to express my anger and teach my children healthy ways to express anger. Doing things like punching a pillow. What helps me the most is to get into my car and scream, yell, cuss and punch the next seat if needed.

Please continue to take care of yourself. We care about you!

PHIZ007

Oh gosh I so feel for you......it is quite normal for people to feel angry with the person after a suicide it is all part of the grieveing process. I think the best thing you can do is to focus on yourself and your needs and hopefully your husband will work through his himself.
As in a previous post I lost my best friend to suicide 2 and a half years ago......it still sucks...but now having worked through my grief I can smile about all the good times...and there were many!......everyone grieves in a different way and I am so so sorry you are going through this terrible trauma......there is nothing easy about it atall. I still write to Sue's mum every now and again and its good to keep in touch with her (even though she is in the Uk and I am in Australia).......do you have any contact with Victoris's friends atall?....is there perhaps a support group for people affected by suicide ion your area?.......
I am so sorry it isn't very holidayish for you either. Is this something you always celebrated and haven't this year because of your terrible loss?.....
I feel your pain.....be kind to yourself....life has changed forever and I wish for you more sunshine :0) ......in the meantime just take one day at a time.......((((((HUGS))))))) Phiz