understanding1

I am trying to UNDERSTAND my recovering alcoholic/addict partner. Last Spring we met and fell in love and in the summer got married. We honeymooned just a few weeks ago and had the time of our lives together. Everything had been wonderful, despite my unemployment, until recently, and I need to understand why? Now I am not without some blame here, I have had many a depressing... day lately and have felt lost,lonely, insecure and well- needy, mostly because of my unemployment but also because of some poor health and recent health scare. All along my partner and I have spent all of our free time together and now all of a sudden she wants to go to AA meetings alone,( I've always gone with) and wants to have more time away from me and I dont understand it. She also said that she feels she cant reach out or talk to other alcoholics after meetings, even though I'd never stop her. She says that sometimes an alcoholic has to be "selfish" and think only of herself.
She says that in the beginning 2 couples just cant get enough of each other and she's moved past that stage. But we have only been together for 8 months, shouldnt this "stage" take years?
Also, part of my insecurities is regarding her ex-partner. I have always tried to understand their relationship because there is a child involved BUT they suddenly have started to talk alot more often and her ex still treats my partner like a possession and it drives me nuts. Her ex also had a recent health scare and she showed her great compassion, that frankly she hasnt completely shown to me. I have communicated all of these things to my partner but she just thinks I'm being insecure and I have nothing to worry about with regard to the ex.
I need some insight...

Carol Star

I would look for a Coda meeting and maybe Alanon. If there isn't trust there isn't anything. Sounds like she just needs a little space. Get back into whatever you enjoyed before you met. My X was jealous and it drove me crazy. I wasn't doing anything to warrent it. He was too insecure. Find a happy medium....maybe she is just more independent than you. Different meetings and seperate proograms are important.

husbandofacoa

There is no way that my alanon meeting would have worked with my spouse in there with me. You both need a program and need the freedom to say what you need to say. It can't work otherwise. Her program is not about you and yours is not about her.

Pelican

Welcome to the Recovery Family!

Have you checked into Alanon meetings? They are based on the 12 steps of AA. They have their own reading materials and fellowship.

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