Dreamer42long

This is our dance also. I can't tell you how many of these heart-to-hearts I've had with my ABF, each time thinking to myself, "I think I got through to him this time!" Only to discover later that he told me exactly what I wanted to hear so I would go back to loving him unconditionally...until his next binge.

Why does being in love with an addict make me feel so dumb? That's one of the reasons why I don't (or can't bring myself to) tell my family about my situation. I'm so afraid they're going to look at me with this "Are you eff-in crazy?!?!"

LovetoLaugh

Dumb you say: How about me, Day 11 no contact, which is what I wanted right? I broke up with him finally right? Then how come I'm sitting here bothered by the fact that he hasn't reached out to me!!! I'm sicker than I thought!

I feel the same about my family, they know some but not all of my situation but if I called one of them today and said I'm feeling sad that I'm not hearing from him, I think they would really start to question my sanity!

How did your family feel about the relationship? Would they be completely surprised if you told them the situation? Just curious because my family weren't big fans of his mostly because they thought he was arrogant and obnoxious, they didn't really get to see the day to day alcohol issues. I only have one sister that I could talk to about that!

Perhaps your family would be supportive of you?

Dreamer42long

My family LOVES him. That's because they have never seen him drunk. Since he's a binge drinker, he never drinks in public, just by himself. So my family sees only the sweet, generous, quiet, loving guy that he is when he's not drinking. When he's in the throes of a binge and we were supposed to go to a family function, I say, "he's not feeling well", or "he's tired", "he's working", etc. etc.

You see, he and I were high school sweethearts and we broke up after 4 years. 24 years went by, and we re-united. I didn't find out about his alcoholism until AFTER we were together for about 3-4 months because he can go a long time without drinking. After I found out, I went into "fix him" mode and have been there ever since. Now, I'm trying to Fix me!

Yes, I admit when it comes to my family, I enable big time. But the reason I don't expose him to my family is because they they don't need this crap. I, being the kind of person I am, cannot bring myself to burden my family with my problems. My mother would be so upset....she's a BIG cryer.

If I end up leaving him for good, I'll have to decide at that time what I'm going to tell my family.