Do I Belong? (An Introduction)
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
I thought I had our family finances clamped down. Seperate accounts. Seperate credit cards. His cards put away. I was family financial secretary and paid the bills.
He found the loophole, again. He rented a post office box and opened new credit card accounts. Used his new cards like atm cards and withdrew cash to pay for booze. He created a financial nightmare.
He found the loophole, again. He rented a post office box and opened new credit card accounts. Used his new cards like atm cards and withdrew cash to pay for booze. He created a financial nightmare.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: VA
Posts: 85
Mine wasn't that "bad" at first, either. He didn't start hiding and lying until I told him he had to cut back - he made it look like he was drinking less, but had in reality, just figured out how to drink more quickly when I wasn't looking. Switched from beer to vodka so I wouldn't notice.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: back from the brink
Posts: 457
None of ours were "that bad" at first. Many had slips, bouts of worse periods, only to get once again "tolerable" for a while.
Mine drank vodka. Last summer when I cleaned out the garage attic, I found over 30 empty bottles of vodka tossed up there - the perfect hiding place for discarded bottles! It was amazing, and quite an eye opener!
Like the others, the emotional wreckage it caused in my life was horrible to get over/get beyond and heal from --- the financial stuff is harder I think. I've spent the last two years since our separation - cleaning up the financial messes. I didn't think I'd be that affected, as I've always been the responsible person. Wrong I was. For some time I couldn't get credit, due to his past bad choices. Employers look at that credit record too these days, and it also made it difficult to get a good job. His choices affected me even there.
Never again for me!
Mine drank vodka. Last summer when I cleaned out the garage attic, I found over 30 empty bottles of vodka tossed up there - the perfect hiding place for discarded bottles! It was amazing, and quite an eye opener!
Like the others, the emotional wreckage it caused in my life was horrible to get over/get beyond and heal from --- the financial stuff is harder I think. I've spent the last two years since our separation - cleaning up the financial messes. I didn't think I'd be that affected, as I've always been the responsible person. Wrong I was. For some time I couldn't get credit, due to his past bad choices. Employers look at that credit record too these days, and it also made it difficult to get a good job. His choices affected me even there.
Never again for me!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
I will just chime in to agree with all those about educating yourself. Alcoholism is progressive. Most of us didn't marry the unemployed guy that drank a 12 pack before supper and ignored us, the kids, and the house while we wondered how to pay the light bill. They didn't start out like that.
If you are worried now, and hold the status quo hoping it will get better - well the odds are the reality is you are just waiting for it to get so bad you can no longer live under the crushing weight of it. Alcoholism doesn't get better. Alcoholism slowly but surely gets worse until the alcoholic decides to quit drinking and get into recovery.
If you are worried now, and hold the status quo hoping it will get better - well the odds are the reality is you are just waiting for it to get so bad you can no longer live under the crushing weight of it. Alcoholism doesn't get better. Alcoholism slowly but surely gets worse until the alcoholic decides to quit drinking and get into recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 11
Just wanted to add that I am starting therapy this week. Not sure I'm quite up for Alanon yet, but I do have my first therapy appointment scheduled. I have issues of my own (shockingly) so I felt it was best to start with someone who could deal with more than just one issue.
He's talked about having therapy sessions of his own, but I can't make that call for him and he hasn't done it himself yet.
He's talked about having therapy sessions of his own, but I can't make that call for him and he hasn't done it himself yet.
I'm growing
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
Glad to hear you are starting therapy! Good for you! It is important to take care of yourself 
We all come to al-anon in our own time. It took me a year to walk through those doors. You'll get there. Once you do you'll find that al-anon deals with many different issues. Our common thread is that we are a friend or family member of an alcoholic (and well if you shake any family tree hard enough one or two are bound to fall out
).
Keep posting!!!
We all come to al-anon in our own time. It took me a year to walk through those doors. You'll get there. Once you do you'll find that al-anon deals with many different issues. Our common thread is that we are a friend or family member of an alcoholic (and well if you shake any family tree hard enough one or two are bound to fall out
). Keep posting!!!
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