Lost...
his sweetheart
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: central ohio
Posts: 12
Lost...
I posted this over in the Newcomer area and then found my way here...
Nice to meet y'all
Harley
Um I'm not sure where to begin. *deep sigh*
I guess first off everyone can call me Harley or Spirit. I'm married, been married for about 2 1/2 years. My husband is an alcoholic and I'm here for support. We met online and when we first got together this wasn't even on the horizon. He didn't start this until after our first year together. He is a truckdriver. He had had a problem over 12 or 13 years ago with alcohol - he got a dui and lost his license for a year. But he went without his license up until 2 years ago this past June. When he got his license back and his cdl's, he got a job drivin over the road. We had trouble with his boss paying him - it was a small company {only 3 trucks}. He would send my husband out with no advance $$ - so basically my husband was to hungry. He still owes us over $1200. My husband went to work for someone else after dealing with this for several months. He has bounced around with several companies - 2 of them major companies but the money just wasn't there. He started drinking pretty heavy just about a year ago. I won't let him drink and drive. And he has enough sense about him to not fight me on it - He doesn't want to lose his license or cdl's. So when he does drink - I'm his DD.
I love my husband very much and I've tried to talk to him... but to no avail.
I was diagnosed a year ago July with severe sleep apnea, then arthritis and depression. I'm disabled and unable to work. I have no one to talk to about what I'm going thru here. I feel totally lost at the moment and don't really know what to do.
I guess first off everyone can call me Harley or Spirit. I'm married, been married for about 2 1/2 years. My husband is an alcoholic and I'm here for support. We met online and when we first got together this wasn't even on the horizon. He didn't start this until after our first year together. He is a truckdriver. He had had a problem over 12 or 13 years ago with alcohol - he got a dui and lost his license for a year. But he went without his license up until 2 years ago this past June. When he got his license back and his cdl's, he got a job drivin over the road. We had trouble with his boss paying him - it was a small company {only 3 trucks}. He would send my husband out with no advance $$ - so basically my husband was to hungry. He still owes us over $1200. My husband went to work for someone else after dealing with this for several months. He has bounced around with several companies - 2 of them major companies but the money just wasn't there. He started drinking pretty heavy just about a year ago. I won't let him drink and drive. And he has enough sense about him to not fight me on it - He doesn't want to lose his license or cdl's. So when he does drink - I'm his DD.
I love my husband very much and I've tried to talk to him... but to no avail.
I was diagnosed a year ago July with severe sleep apnea, then arthritis and depression. I'm disabled and unable to work. I have no one to talk to about what I'm going thru here. I feel totally lost at the moment and don't really know what to do.
Harley
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family harley!
I'm sorry you are having such a tough time physically and maritally right now. You will find lots of support and wisdom in this forum, so pull out your keyboard and make yourself at home.
You're not alone. We have all experienced a loved ones addiction to alcohol. We can testify to the chaos the addiction brings into your life.
Have you attended local Alanon meetings? They are for friends and families of alcoholics. They are based on the 12 steps and principles of AA. I learned some great tools through the meetings and literature for dealing with my life and relationships. One thing I learned about another person's addiction is the three C's:
I didn't cause the addiction
I can't control the addiction
I won't cure the addiction
Alanon and this forum have also taught me to look at myself. Learn to take care of myself, trust myself and love myself.
Please stick around and share when needed!
I'm sorry you are having such a tough time physically and maritally right now. You will find lots of support and wisdom in this forum, so pull out your keyboard and make yourself at home.
You're not alone. We have all experienced a loved ones addiction to alcohol. We can testify to the chaos the addiction brings into your life.
Have you attended local Alanon meetings? They are for friends and families of alcoholics. They are based on the 12 steps and principles of AA. I learned some great tools through the meetings and literature for dealing with my life and relationships. One thing I learned about another person's addiction is the three C's:
I didn't cause the addiction
I can't control the addiction
I won't cure the addiction
Alanon and this forum have also taught me to look at myself. Learn to take care of myself, trust myself and love myself.
Please stick around and share when needed!
his sweetheart
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: central ohio
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Pelican 
Welcome to the SR family harley!
I'm sorry you are having such a tough time physically and maritally right now. You will find lots of support and wisdom in this forum, so pull out your keyboard and make yourself at home.
You're not alone. We have all experienced a loved ones addiction to alcohol. We can testify to the chaos the addiction brings into your life.
Have you attended local Alanon meetings? They are for friends and families of alcoholics. They are based on the 12 steps and principles of AA. I learned some great tools through the meetings and literature for dealing with my life and relationships. One thing I learned about another person's addiction is the three C's:
I didn't cause the addiction
I can't control the addiction
I won't cure the addiction
Alanon and this forum have also taught me to look at myself. Learn to take care of myself, trust myself and love myself.
Please stick around and share when needed!
I'm sorry you are having such a tough time physically and maritally right now. You will find lots of support and wisdom in this forum, so pull out your keyboard and make yourself at home.
You're not alone. We have all experienced a loved ones addiction to alcohol. We can testify to the chaos the addiction brings into your life.
Have you attended local Alanon meetings? They are for friends and families of alcoholics. They are based on the 12 steps and principles of AA. I learned some great tools through the meetings and literature for dealing with my life and relationships. One thing I learned about another person's addiction is the three C's:
I didn't cause the addiction
I can't control the addiction
I won't cure the addiction
Alanon and this forum have also taught me to look at myself. Learn to take care of myself, trust myself and love myself.
Please stick around and share when needed!
I'm just so glad to have found this place and I plan on sticking around.
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