Welcome to the SR family harley!
I'm sorry you are having such a tough time physically and maritally right now. You will find lots of support and wisdom in this forum, so pull out your keyboard and make yourself at home.
You're not alone. We have all experienced a loved ones addiction to alcohol. We can testify to the chaos the addiction brings into your life.
Have you attended local Alanon meetings? They are for friends and families of alcoholics. They are based on the 12 steps and principles of AA. I learned some great tools through the meetings and literature for dealing with my life and relationships. One thing I learned about another person's addiction is the three C's:
I didn't cause the addiction
I can't control the addiction
I won't cure the addiction
Alanon and this forum have also taught me to look at myself. Learn to take care of myself, trust myself and love myself.
Please stick around and share when needed!