HoopNinja

I heard this for the first time this morning and it reminded me what so many of us are, or have already gone through (you could easily change the she to he). This has been a hard week for me--but I am still standing. stbxah is OK with divorce one minute and extremely bitter the next. My sons go through bouts of anger at me--even though my older son knows why I left. We are selling the house (goes on the market Monday afternoon) and AH is doing nothing to help. I have been coming home with the kids, hanging out with them and when they go to bed I pick up the paint brush or another box--then I get up at the crack of dawn to do more before I go to work. I am exhausted and have been on the verge of tears all week.

Last night was the topper--seems AH is priming older DS for court and told him I drink too much. I saw red. My mom was an extremely abusive alcoholic and I was her target throughout my childhood and until she died.. AH used to always rag on me that I never forgave her before she died. I did. I just did not allow her to hurt me anymore. I hardly ever drink and for AH to tell DS this made me so angry. Suddenly I realized he is not only priming DS, he knows DS will tell me and since he is not at home it is just a new way to do something mean to me.

The song seemed very relevant to how my week went and it also made me feel better that I have made it through the week intact with help from my higher power.


Stand in the Rain

She never slows down.
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

naive

YouTube - Stand In the Rain- Superchick w/ lyrics

that's the song, i think.

hang in there, wife2kids. this too will pass.

Cowgirl1265

You are going through so much, you are so very strong. We are all here for you.

HoopNinja

That is it naive. On the one hand it made me just want to sit down and cry and on the other it told me hang on--things will get better.

Cowgirl--I wish I felt stronger. Although if I had more sleep I think I would feel better. I am lucky I have this group of people here and others around me where I am to help me.

stbxah has the kids this weekend--will be weird to not have them around because they have never been away from me before. Older DS was having a hard time this morning. I know they will be OK because AH's sister and BIL will be there. Also, my friend who has been watching my dog for the last 2 weeks is bringing him home on Saturday. I miss him too. He is the one who never yells at me