nowinsituation

I am struggling today. The guy I have been dating for the past couple of months broke up with me last night (via text message no less!). I am not surprised, as I have felt distance growing between us. What is disturbing to me is how I was already beginning to lose myself in the relationship. There were issues that I could see were going to be problems; but I chose to ignore them telling myself I would bring them up later. Why? Cause I didn't want to hurt his feelings, cause I questioned whether they were that big of a deal, cause I figured I could just put up with them as his good qualities outweighed the bad qualities and no one is perfect. I had told myself that I would give it another month, then when things settled down a bit I would state my concerns and my already-thought-out ideas of how we could address them. And, if that went poorly, then I would break up with him!

Wow, I am scaring myself. I probably wouldn't have done anything in a month as I would have sunk deeper into the muck. I was already contributing more to the relationship and asking for less.

I need help moving from knowing better to doing better!

Daisy30

I think that being able to step back and look at things they way youare is a HUGE step! and very healthy. Think of this as a gift from your HP

lunarise

I could use a little more of the doing better too.....if ya find out how let me know.

:ghug3

FSquared

Yup. We see the signs. We feel something is wrong. And yet it seems like it takes some even or some action by the A to force us from knowing into doing. Ugggh!

All the signs were there for my A's latest relapse. ESPECIALLY my own loneliness and despair...yet none of it brought me to action. I was "happy" to continue in my misery..."hoping" for better days.

MeHandle

As anvilhead said , "not prefection."

Here is an encouraging song that reminds us, among other things, not to get caught up in perfection. I think it is a good song of encouragement, especially for the SR community.:-) I copied the words below too. Link is just the song with the music on utube:

YouTube - Free To Be Me by: Francesca Battistelli w/ lyrics!

At twenty years of age
I’m still looking for a dream
A war is already waged for my destiny
But You’ve already won the battle
And You’ve got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see, ’cause

I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own I’m so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me

When I was just a girl
I thought I had it figured out
See my life will turn out right
And I’ll make it here somehow
But things don’t always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt, ’cause…

And you’re free to be you

Sometimes I believe
That I can do anything
Yet other times I think
I’ve got nothing good to bring

But You look at my heart and you tell me
That I’ve got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe, even though

And you’re free to be you

MissFixit

Hi,

I know you are probably feeling insecure as that is how I feel at these moments. You are SOOOO lucky to figure things out early on, accept them and move on. What I wouldn't give for a time machine with the info I have now.

Miss

Still Waters

You know MissFixit, I can totally relate to that. The "if onlys" and hindsight.

But - I have learned some extremely valuable lessons about myself from all this, and well, I'm grateful for that. If I take those lessons and apply myself, I think my life will be so much more than it was, or could have been, prior to this.