Alizee

Hello you all and thank you for being here, your posts have been helping me lots. I just wanted to ask you a question. I had an AB, and all seemed to be fine. Then I realized that he was A, and unless he is a functioning one, the situation began making me feel anger, everyday was a nightmare until one day I just could not anymore and I broke up. It was the most difficult thing I ever made in my life because I felt I really loved him, but it was destroying me. Since then, we don´t communicate each other (unless some mails of him asking me to come back, but I havent) and have been trying to build my life again but I cannot avoid to miss him and love him and feel sad. I just want to know if someday I won´t feel so sad anymore...how much time takes this hurt to heal?

Alizee

Freedom1990

Hi Alizee, and welcome to SR.

I can't give you a time frame on when you will begin to feel better. Each person is different.

Are you doing anything nice for yourself? Often when I am feeling down, I will do something like take a bubble bath with candles, read a favorite book, something just for myself.

I want to commend you for seeing the situation as it was, and that you deserved better! I hope you continue to post, and know that you are among friends! :ghug

Daisy30

Hi! and Welcome!!!

We all heal in our own time BUT there are many things you can do to help the process. Are you atteding al-anon? or reading about co-dependence?

I know after I left an exaf many years ago, I went to counceling. BUT I wasn't sure why I was there...lol and I did not deal with me etc... SO a about 6 years later I found myself in another relationship that turned out to be with an alcoholic. This time I am going to al-anon, reading about co-dependence, going to a councelor and working on ME.


((((())))) Glad you are here! Keep posting!

Wascally Wabbit

I lived with an addict husband for 6 years. I mourned my way through that marriage. The day I left, I was relieved. I had suffered so much because of staying too long, when I should have left.

But, the crying did stop. Sadness like that does not last forever. Only a short time.
Once the crying and sadness is gone, you will see clearly how what you did was for the best, and you'll even be shaking your head wondering why you got involved in the first place.

Alizee

Thank you all for your kind words. It is being a hard way but I think day by day I am feeling much better. Now I am attending a counselor, reading about codependency, reading your posts and doing nice things for myself!

Three months since the break up and last week a nice guy from my running group asked me to go out. I was not sure if accepting or not, but I did and we had a lovely saturday evening. We went to the cinema, and then cooked some dinner at my place while watch TV. Then he left and I just spent a lovely time with him and I saw myself smiling and laughing again.

I don´t know if I will continue seeing this guy, but I learned something: that there are nice guys out there and that I have the right to live a healthy relationship. I still feel some sad feelings about my XABF, but I think time heals all hurts. This is a good new...

I will continue reading your posts....Hugs and kisses....!!

Freedom1990

I'm glad you checked back in, Alizee! How marvelous that you had a good time with a gentleman friend, and I'm glad you're attending counseling and doing things for yourself.

Wishing you a peaceful heart and much more happiness in the days ahead! :ghug2