hopeless me
No Codie No More.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 155
hopeless me
well I had a horrible last night and horrible day. couldn't keep my mind off Alkie.
news about her update came from the grape vine. its horrible this time. I heard from a female friend of mine that shes giving sexual favors for drugs now and some "ex-boyfriend" (some guy she was using) hit her when she broke up with him, his friends had to hold him back.
no I didn't ask for this information, it was told to me because she thought I wanted to know.
I'm staying away, havent called her for months or talked to her yet I still feel horrible, I know the disease is progressive but I always treated her the way she is SUPPOSED to be treated. I know I can't fix it.
the last time I talked to her , face to face she said she had a problem. she was going to stop doing drugs and drinking.
I still have a emotional attachment to this person, I do still love her and I wouldn't wish this on her. sometimes I think she wants to quit but doesn't know how.
news about her update came from the grape vine. its horrible this time. I heard from a female friend of mine that shes giving sexual favors for drugs now and some "ex-boyfriend" (some guy she was using) hit her when she broke up with him, his friends had to hold him back.
no I didn't ask for this information, it was told to me because she thought I wanted to know.
I'm staying away, havent called her for months or talked to her yet I still feel horrible, I know the disease is progressive but I always treated her the way she is SUPPOSED to be treated. I know I can't fix it.
the last time I talked to her , face to face she said she had a problem. she was going to stop doing drugs and drinking.
I still have a emotional attachment to this person, I do still love her and I wouldn't wish this on her. sometimes I think she wants to quit but doesn't know how.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
sometimes I think she wants to quit but doesn't know how.
hey drained....try not to get hung up on this line of thinking...I've met many recovered alkies/addicts who say they didn't want to quit until they wanted to quit! Meaning all the time they were using until that last straw day that they decided for the last time enough is enough, they wanted to keep using. Did their DOC bring them low? Yes. But it was always their choice.
Also try to stop being surprised at whatever antics you hear about her. She is just doing what addicts do.
Have you ever read this stickie from the "Classic Reading" section at the top of this forum? ?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ddicts-do.html
If you feel like she is really so disconnected from the world around her that she doesn't know where to go for help you could just mail her the tel. number of local AA and say you hope she uses the number. Once. And then just let it go.
There is no getting around the pain of seeing a human being destroy their life and all their good qualities with addiction. It sucks. I've spent many a night in pain over my brothers self-destruction....but a change I made years back was to stop believing I could do anything about it...stop obsessing about it as if it was my problem and own the fact that I didn't need to let their problems and the sadness I felt about it bring me down all the time. I too have choices. And when I start to feel sorry for them or think there may be something I can do I pause and hand them over to their own HP (the universe, their destiny, their choices etc).
I know it's hard drained....what can you do that's uplifting for you tonight?
:ghug3
peace,
b
hey drained....try not to get hung up on this line of thinking...I've met many recovered alkies/addicts who say they didn't want to quit until they wanted to quit! Meaning all the time they were using until that last straw day that they decided for the last time enough is enough, they wanted to keep using. Did their DOC bring them low? Yes. But it was always their choice.
Also try to stop being surprised at whatever antics you hear about her. She is just doing what addicts do.
Have you ever read this stickie from the "Classic Reading" section at the top of this forum? ?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ddicts-do.html
If you feel like she is really so disconnected from the world around her that she doesn't know where to go for help you could just mail her the tel. number of local AA and say you hope she uses the number. Once. And then just let it go.
There is no getting around the pain of seeing a human being destroy their life and all their good qualities with addiction. It sucks. I've spent many a night in pain over my brothers self-destruction....but a change I made years back was to stop believing I could do anything about it...stop obsessing about it as if it was my problem and own the fact that I didn't need to let their problems and the sadness I felt about it bring me down all the time. I too have choices. And when I start to feel sorry for them or think there may be something I can do I pause and hand them over to their own HP (the universe, their destiny, their choices etc).
I know it's hard drained....what can you do that's uplifting for you tonight?
:ghug3
peace,
b
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