How do i "detox" from codependency?
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Illinois
Posts: 140
God bless and thank you all! I looked up meeting to go to for a start and only issue I have is my kids, hard to get a sitter for these evening ones when I am paying full time care for the 3 rt now. I assume there are online meetings as well, not sure how good they are though. Suggestions?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Phone meetings can be found here:
Al-Anon Phone Meetings
email and skype are here:
http://www.al-anon.org/electronic-meetings
Al-Anon Phone Meetings
email and skype are here:
http://www.al-anon.org/electronic-meetings
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
Bancroft books are great- for me- I kept a note in my pocket of all the bad stuff "xah" had done to me- and when I was missing him I read the note.....reality check...... and no contact helped too-the longer I went the stronger I got....... 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Spousal responsibilities go two ways. When one spouse is not living up to theirs, it is not incumbent on the other to do so unilaterally-- at that point it becomes your responsibility to take care of yourself (and children if they are involved).
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
If something keeps you up at night-you need a boundary. Boundaries are for us- to keep our sanity, safety, and serenity..... I had a sponsor ask me/or tell me I was "not a victim- but a volunteer." That is when I went no contact- and started seeing things as they really were- not how I wanted them- and I started getting better.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 53
Originally Posted by Lilyflower 
Absolutley DITTO to everything Barbara said.
My ex was verbally abusive first, then when I got to standing up to him and refused him what he wanted I met the physical side of him.
His screaming in my face, towering over me was his way of putting me in my place, to ensure I was submissive and he was dominant. It gave him power over me. I will never forget the feel of that fear, of not being sure if he would hit me or not. On the few occasions that he did go for me, that fear was way above any I had ever felt.
Alcoholic or not, he had no right to treat me as such, and just because I had entered into a relationship with him, did not mean it was expected of me to accept it as part of my life. However I did accept it, until I woke up to how sick my relationship had become and ended it.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My ex was verbally abusive first, then when I got to standing up to him and refused him what he wanted I met the physical side of him.
His screaming in my face, towering over me was his way of putting me in my place, to ensure I was submissive and he was dominant. It gave him power over me. I will never forget the feel of that fear, of not being sure if he would hit me or not. On the few occasions that he did go for me, that fear was way above any I had ever felt.
Alcoholic or not, he had no right to treat me as such, and just because I had entered into a relationship with him, did not mean it was expected of me to accept it as part of my life. However I did accept it, until I woke up to how sick my relationship had become and ended it.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: OKC OK
Posts: 414
Originally Posted by jehnifer
From "Women Who Love Too Much" ..."Most of the insanity and despair you experience comes directly from trying to manage and control what you cannot." "His troubles are his own to work out, not yours."
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