kristileigh

I have been married for 9 years and I have left my husband because of his drinking. For the first 8 years of our marriage I begged him to quit drinking or cut back on it; and he always said he would and never did it. This is the second marriage for the both of us, I have 3 children and he has 2 children. Right after we were married my life changed he got more controlling on me and the kids. Mostly though he was very abusive to my kids and me and I have made up excuse after excuse till finally I looked in the mirror and I did not like what I saw. I am 46 years old and I see a broken down old woman tired and exhaused on how my life has turned out. I am going to go ahead and file for my divorce and try to get my life back in order and get some normalcy in my life. I have not had that in a very long time. I look back on it and I really don't think that there has been a time that I ever was happy. I look at myself and I have probably aged 20 years since I have been with him. I am now under a doctor's care for depression, and I have been on that for about 6-7 years and every year I am having to go in and get the dosage raised. Also, what I have to realize is that I cannot change him he has to want to change for himself not anyone else. I have to live for myself and take care of myself and do right for me. I hope one day when I look back on this I will beable to learn for this awful experience and hopefully help someone else.

Time to move on...

Sara9009

Welcome to SR! You might want to check out the Family and Friends Section:

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Big Hugs.

CarolD

Hi and Welcome...

Sara is correct.....and

I have moved your thread to Friends and Family of Alcoholics
where you will find lots of understanding and support.

Glad you found SR....

Seren

Hi Kristie....Welcome to SR! You will find lots of support and experience here from caring folks who have gone through/are going through exactly what you are now experiencing. It sounds as though you have made the decision that is best for you, congratulations! I hope that you keep posting, keep reading, and that your minutes, hours, and days ahead will be filled with peace and joy. It may not seem like it now, but the joy will return!!!

Hugs, HG

GiveLove

Hi kristileigh,

You could have been describing me! I look in the mirror and saw the damage I'd allowed to happen.

The good news? It is entirely within your power to once again become the person you'd rather be. It'll take a bunch of small baby steps to get there, and you'll HAVE to learn how to be tender with yourself again, but you WILL get there. We can help! Please stick around and keep posting. You're not alone.

rkymtncowboy

Sometimes divorce is the only answer. I have been divorced from my A for 3 months. I finally made that decision when I knew if I stayed married I would have to go bankrupt. I was married for 12 years and the last 5 were the worst. A lot of weight is gone now, don't have to babysit. Now if I could get out of this bad economy without getting laid off again. But if I do I will go on a long vacation and lease the house.
Now I bet you can get your life in order, just takes time, lots of it.
Welcome