pill?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
pill?
i havent been on here in a while, most probably dont remember me, but i remembe reading on here about a pill that alcoholics can take that helps then with their cravings but i cant remember the name of it, could anyone tell me the name of it please?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
yeah it is campral, i knew it started with a c but i kept think chantix but thats for smoking
i ask because i just wanted to pass along the information but couldnt remember the name of it, i only read about it once
i ask because i just wanted to pass along the information but couldnt remember the name of it, i only read about it once
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
basically i had an appointment for legal aid to get the divorce started, i had cut contact with my husband for the last three months, was doing good, then his mom called and got his address and he asked for pictures of the baby, so since florida is a two parent state i decided to be civil and send him a bunch of pictures since i didnt see any way to prevent him from getting visitations so i figured we might as well come to some kind of middle ground for our son, so i gave him my new address and phone number, well he called and left a voicemail and everything just came right back, and im back where i started
hearing his voice must be my trigger or something well i informed him of the divorce in my letter to him and he wrote me back but didnt say anything about it but told me where he was working (not getting paid though, hes in the salvation army rehab) well i figured i might as well bite the bullet and go see him and figure out how to be around him for our son, so i go up there , he asks me to cancel the divorce appointment and just give him time to finish the rehab program, so im like you want us to be together , hes like i just need time and i cant be with anyone right now, i said that is for single people who enter the program not married ones, all the other guys in the program are homeless and dont have familes or rather probably no family that has anything to do with them, i told him he was different he was a father whether he likes it or not that you cant put that off
well anyways i know i still love him but im so different now i dont think i can go through all this again, i want to see some kind of effort on his part for the baby, regardless of me, he says the program keeps him so busy he dont have much free time, i told him he has to make the time, i cant believe the program would try to keep him from his family, if hes the only one with a family then they need to make an exception with him, he chose to be a father, no rehab would keep me from my child but he may not understand the program or is a afraid or something i dont know, but ive been writin him letters just basically getting out everything that he would never listen to when he was drunk, he cant ever talk long on the phone, he called me last night and said he was having a tough time with cravings, that he went to a meeting but it didnt help and he was suppose to talk to the guys in the program but just couldnt but knew he could talk to me, i tried bringing up when he wanted to see the baby again and he didnt know
i dont know where we stand, im rescheduling the appointment with legal aid but not canceling it, ive been doing some thinking and have decided to move back to alabama before the end of the year, my parents are pissed at me because of it, but i have to make my own decisions, i told him if he was sober he could join us but either way im going, not to keep the baby from him but ive got to live my own life whether with or without him, im not quite sure i could deal with him again, i dont see alot that has changed, until i see him puttin his son first i cant trust him, hes suppose to be in rehab 3 more months and then a half way house, but hes getting his old job back, which is where all his women "friends" work so i know i could never trust him if he did go back to that job, im glad we got back in touch cause it opened my eyes up also that i need to make a change myself, i dont want to live with my parents forever and ive just been in limbo not moving in either direction, i just told him i wasnt going to fight for him, if he wanted his family then he knew where we were, so i dont really know what will happen there, but at the moment im leaning toward divorce
my son is now 4 months old, he weighs 17lbs, hes a little fluffy but the doc says his height and weight is proportioned , hes a handful, i swear he has ADD he is constantly wiggling and moving you can only keep his attention on something for 5 minutes then he wants to be doing something else, hes a very demanding little baby but i love him so much, hes constantly smiling, hes almost rolling over, and hes starting his baby talk
but thats about the gist of what is going on at the moment
hearing his voice must be my trigger or something well i informed him of the divorce in my letter to him and he wrote me back but didnt say anything about it but told me where he was working (not getting paid though, hes in the salvation army rehab) well i figured i might as well bite the bullet and go see him and figure out how to be around him for our son, so i go up there , he asks me to cancel the divorce appointment and just give him time to finish the rehab program, so im like you want us to be together , hes like i just need time and i cant be with anyone right now, i said that is for single people who enter the program not married ones, all the other guys in the program are homeless and dont have familes or rather probably no family that has anything to do with them, i told him he was different he was a father whether he likes it or not that you cant put that off
well anyways i know i still love him but im so different now i dont think i can go through all this again, i want to see some kind of effort on his part for the baby, regardless of me, he says the program keeps him so busy he dont have much free time, i told him he has to make the time, i cant believe the program would try to keep him from his family, if hes the only one with a family then they need to make an exception with him, he chose to be a father, no rehab would keep me from my child but he may not understand the program or is a afraid or something i dont know, but ive been writin him letters just basically getting out everything that he would never listen to when he was drunk, he cant ever talk long on the phone, he called me last night and said he was having a tough time with cravings, that he went to a meeting but it didnt help and he was suppose to talk to the guys in the program but just couldnt but knew he could talk to me, i tried bringing up when he wanted to see the baby again and he didnt know
i dont know where we stand, im rescheduling the appointment with legal aid but not canceling it, ive been doing some thinking and have decided to move back to alabama before the end of the year, my parents are pissed at me because of it, but i have to make my own decisions, i told him if he was sober he could join us but either way im going, not to keep the baby from him but ive got to live my own life whether with or without him, im not quite sure i could deal with him again, i dont see alot that has changed, until i see him puttin his son first i cant trust him, hes suppose to be in rehab 3 more months and then a half way house, but hes getting his old job back, which is where all his women "friends" work so i know i could never trust him if he did go back to that job, im glad we got back in touch cause it opened my eyes up also that i need to make a change myself, i dont want to live with my parents forever and ive just been in limbo not moving in either direction, i just told him i wasnt going to fight for him, if he wanted his family then he knew where we were, so i dont really know what will happen there, but at the moment im leaning toward divorce
my son is now 4 months old, he weighs 17lbs, hes a little fluffy but the doc says his height and weight is proportioned , hes a handful, i swear he has ADD he is constantly wiggling and moving you can only keep his attention on something for 5 minutes then he wants to be doing something else, hes a very demanding little baby but i love him so much, hes constantly smiling, hes almost rolling over, and hes starting his baby talk
but thats about the gist of what is going on at the moment
Addiction is a full time job
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Brooklyn New York
Posts: 63
What a beautiful baby. He is gorgeous. Your husband is in treatment and that's a good thing. Some people just don't even try at all. Your son is just beautiful and men love their kids too. He's just going through a bad struggle right now, Pray for your husband to see the light, and have a healing. I wish you all the best. Thanks for your post, and that pic of such a beautiful new life. GOD BLESS you and your family. I hope things work out for you. Joeyboy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hello veryrestless-
i'm new here but reading your story is prompting me to write.
my ABF has two young children who he misses very much. he also has two other children he essentially abandoned. with the two he partially raised and loves, i have heard for years how he is going to send them money. i heard it yesterday even. he had £300 and then got another £100. he went to the postoffice, asked what the exchange rate was, and then didn't send any and went to the pub for 8 hours.
once, only once, he did sent them £50. it came back to him a week later, as the postage was insufficient. he opened the envelope, took out the $50 and went to a bar with it.
and i know how he loves his children. he cries about missing them. he has their names tattooed all over his arms, pictures of them everywhere in the house.
but, at the end of the day, he sends them nothing and drinks until there is nothing to send them.
if i look at what he DOES and not what he SAYS, then the drink appears to be more important than sending his kids some money even though they are poor and perhaps don't have what they need.
naive
i'm new here but reading your story is prompting me to write.
my ABF has two young children who he misses very much. he also has two other children he essentially abandoned. with the two he partially raised and loves, i have heard for years how he is going to send them money. i heard it yesterday even. he had £300 and then got another £100. he went to the postoffice, asked what the exchange rate was, and then didn't send any and went to the pub for 8 hours.
once, only once, he did sent them £50. it came back to him a week later, as the postage was insufficient. he opened the envelope, took out the $50 and went to a bar with it.
and i know how he loves his children. he cries about missing them. he has their names tattooed all over his arms, pictures of them everywhere in the house.
but, at the end of the day, he sends them nothing and drinks until there is nothing to send them.
if i look at what he DOES and not what he SAYS, then the drink appears to be more important than sending his kids some money even though they are poor and perhaps don't have what they need.
naive
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
naive-- i get what your saying, i know my husband loves my son, but he also hasnt learned that he has to put my son first, he wants it easy, for me to bring him to him every now and then but thats not nearly enough , but i cant force him to be the kind of father he needs to be, i write him letters, or books as he calls them lol, and maybe something i say will get through and maybe it wont, im different now, i love him but im not willing to play games with him , he knows how i feel and knows where i am if he ever wants to be with his family, but im not doing the work for him , im only focusing on me and my son now , im not dumb enough to think i dont love him or wouldnt take him back under the right circumstances but im not living with that hope, if it happens ill deal with it , and if it dont ill deal with it, he can be a father or not, either way my son has me and will have everything i can possibly give him
Seeking Peace and Serenity
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Rocky Mountain
Posts: 38
Wow, I hope it all works for you and your children. I have a boyfriend in recovery and inorder for him to succeed he must put his higher power and sobriety first or he can't survive out there. I have accepted that I will always be third but I like the sober version anyways. We also do not have children together but I have a two sons (one all grown and moved on) and my father who lives with me and they have to have a place so we can come together as a family. I have learned soooo much since I met my bf and realized how I was effected by an XAH and an ABF. It is a long road to have a successful relationship with an A but once they start down that road and really want it you will see how hard it is and just little changes in mindsets can help nuture what you could have.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
well i do realize his sobriety should come first but i have a hard time knowing that because to me your child is suppose to come first above all else but thats my own issue to deal with as i dont have the addiction he does
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
I agree veryrestless - (I am not an addict and would never put any THING before my children)- but even if your AH agreed with you in principle - he's not showing you that. He may be telling you that and thinking that but....that's not doing it!
I know my father loved all 5 of us kids - but the years he was in active alcoholism he was UNABLE and UNWILLING to put us first or truly behave in loving ways...it was all warped and inconsistent, confusing and infuriating, and my mother allowed it to warp and ruin her own mental health.
welcome back- your son is just plain YUMMMMMMMY!!!!!!!
What a little doll! That pic really made me smile - he is so happy!
Keep yourselves safe & healthy!!
peace,
b
I know my father loved all 5 of us kids - but the years he was in active alcoholism he was UNABLE and UNWILLING to put us first or truly behave in loving ways...it was all warped and inconsistent, confusing and infuriating, and my mother allowed it to warp and ruin her own mental health.
welcome back- your son is just plain YUMMMMMMMY!!!!!!!
What a little doll! That pic really made me smile - he is so happy!
Keep yourselves safe & healthy!!
peace,
b
Seeking Peace and Serenity
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Rocky Mountain
Posts: 38
Most definately children ALWAYS come first. I guess I just said it wrong. I was just relating how it should be (in my codie mind) when the A is trying to recover and really puts forth the effort. I know for a fact that you have to keep them at arms length until see the changes and feel it as well. I still have to deal with my AXH due to our children and it is sometimes very difficult. He is still blaming me for the break-up of our marriage back in 2002, and still drinking. Our youngest who is 15 deals with it more and we try and keep the communication open between each other. He gets frustrated but really loves his dad. I wish things could be different for my son. I really don't see my XAH stopping anytime soon because he is still in denial of his disease.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
i get what your all saying, it wasnt so much hope for us this time, i really thought he would put forth the effort for our son, buts its almost been a week since i seen him and he hasnt asked to see the baby again. I made my closure with him and said all i could to him but it really bothers me that hes like that with his child. But im not being sucked into it this time. While i get when he was drunk not having anything to do with him but him being sober and still not being invovled really bugs me.
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