passing by

I found an Alanon that I have been going to for only 3 weeks now. I know you are to go to at least 6 to see if its for you. The people are wonderful. I have been treated very nicely every time I have gone. They like to read from books and I even bought one. It is a great book. "The Courage to Change" I have been reading it daily and have found things that are helpful. After the readings they always say how part of that has been part of their recovery. When do you stand up and say " I just want to know how to handle what I am dealing with today"? Is there a different kind of group that I need to attend? I am going to try to go to another group a different night of the week but I can only be gone so many nights a week. I know with all the knowledge here someone can point me in the right direction. Help!!! I need it.

Rella927

The book "Courage to change" is a book I open everyday! Glad that you bought it
and hope you find a comfort when you open it up too! I found writing down my thoughts after a daily reading was a comfort to me.

When you are ready to speak, you will speak. The first time I ever spoke in a meeting
I just knew that it was time for me to open up and share! It will come to you.......

Finding a meeting where you are comfortable with the people is a good feeling-you may or may not want to try another meeting. Al-Anon has different meetings such as Step work, Spirtual meeting, Closed meetings, Discussion meetings, Woman Only, Men Only, Alateen but all are focused on recovery and finding solutions to serenity in our lives that have become so chaotic!

Keep trying other meetins and see what fits for you!

Good Luck!

kermit

I fell in love with the very first meeting I went to, and I continued to go to the same one for about two years, then I branched out to a womans only meeting that I learned about... I love them both. But I did stay with the very first one I went too because I was comfortable there and love the people.

Mambo Queen

If I may speak for you, Passing By, and please forgive me if I'm mistaken, but it sounds to me like you're saying, "When is there a time and a place in an Al-Anon meeting to talk about a specific situation with the A in my life and get advice on it?" and I'm certainly not the expert on this, but from the little I have experienced, I kinda think Al-anon is not the place to do that, because the total focus there is supposed to be on you, and what you can do to get more serenity in YOUR life, aside from the alcoholic. I think you'd more find a place to talk specific advice in either individual therapy, or here, on these forums. I ask a lot of questions here about specific stuff that comes up, or if not, I read a lot of posts from people whose situations sound similar to mine. Again, I apologize if I got your question wrong.

passing by

Mambo Queen, I think you are right. I want to say I live with an A who is trying so very hard to recover and I want some stories like mine that I can relate to. I have found lots of posts and found them all very helpful. I guess I was looking for a group that tells the story and starts recovery from there. I have had great people here answer things for me and I am grateful. I guess I am just rushing things. I know this is a group for me and I am there for my recovery and my serenity. I just wish I knew more than I do about the illness. I do go to therapy and she has told me I have made steps forward. I don't see them but she does and that is important. Thank you so much for the posts.

itiswhatitis...

passing by - if you can find an alanon meeting with *beginner's meetings* that might help - both groups i attend regularly offer beginners meetings (they suggest you attend 6 beginners meetings) - the beginners meetings let you vent, ask the kind of questions you're asking here - and find out how non beginner meetings work - those do ask you to put the focus on yourself, not the alcoholic - but - fo rme - in the beginning stages of my own recovery - i needed to ask a lot of questions - they are welcomed in the beginners meetings - good luck...

s