Cheese

Hi Everyone!

With the holidays coming up, I thought I'd post about one of my most serious codie issues.

I isolate myself from others. I hide. I especially hide from my family because no one wants to admit that mom was an alcoholic and we are all VERY dysfunctional. We paste on the smiles and pretend everything is ok.:ghug2

Anyone else deal with this? If so, how do you stop distancing yourself - even with those who you love and who love you? It hurts my friends and my husband.

Thanks for any and all replies!

Cheese

Eleison

Yes. Although my reasons for isolation are slightly different. My whole family isolated itself, distanced itself. Felt threatened and 'under attack' by the whole world. It was like living in a fall out shelter, and denied warmth and companionship. And yet it can feel a 'comfort'. I hide because I'm scared of rejection, and further humiliation from people who are less than sensitive about vulnerabilites and 'difference'.

brundle

From the time I was a child (and unfortunately now in my own home) the holidays have been something to dread! If we aren't having "antics"; I am distancing myself just to survive.

One of the best chapters in a book I ever read a therapist copied for me (last year) from the book "Children of Alcoholism:A Survivor's Manual" the chapter was called: "Merry Christmas and Other Disasters". I just recently found the book online and am ordering it. It was kind of funny and true (and helpful all at the same time).

I thought it may help you.

denny57

Hi Cheese

I isolate once in a while, usually because I need the alone, down time. Is it often for you or only at high stress times?

Therapy has helped me understand I can interact and have fun with my family without having to bring up the dysfunction or pull off the covers.

((( )))

cagefree

I became very good at hiding from what scares me, and bad at giving myself nurturing and nourishment that "me time" entails.

I isolate myself today - but for a different reason - like Denny said - I need to be with myself for downtime.

I worked with a therapist to face my fears to become an active participant of my life. For me - when I used to isolate and hide, it was due to my lack of confidence and self worth.

I'm sure many of isolate for different reasons - and finding the reason for me specifically was key for me to step out.