HealthyLimits

It's funny, I don't know any other childhood so it seems like it wasn't really bad. I figure everybody has some issues from their parents to get over. My dad happened to like drinking a lot, was never angry, didn't hit me or beat me or any other type of abuse and by all accounts was a good dad.

I somehow feel the need to separate myself from the people who had it really bad and maybe I gotta figure out why. As an adult, I had the best childhood of my wife and either parent so I never complained, now I see all the ways I modified my behavior due to the people in my life.

My ex had an extremely abusive childhood, she would sometimes wake up and tell me she had bad dreams and I knew that meant she'd be pretty off for a day or two.

I have set limits for my alcoholic father and the results has been that I'm currently not talking to either parent but now I keep having dreams about this crap.

The one I just woke up from was a typical situation, mom talking about wanting to leave and the timing being wrong, dad sorta flaunting his control and her lack of self esteem needed to make a healthy choice. There was also some of the "dads drunk" will you fill the roll of husband in my life and "mom's mad" will you be my buddy so I'm not lonely until I'm drunk enough to not care.

Anyway, what is the deal with the dreams? I really could do without them. This just started and really puts a foul smell to your mornings!

GiveLove

My dreams are always pointers to action, in some way, shape or form. I don't think that's true for everybody, but it is the case for me.

It's not the content of the dreams necessarily that show me the way, but how I FELT during the dream. Like, it's one thing to have a dream about your drunken dad wanting to be your buddy. But for me the gold lies in what I remember FEELING in the dream in response to that. Were you sickened? Or comfortable? Or confused? Sometimes there's a sick comfort in old patterns.

I used to dream about infidelity on the part of my partner, and I remember the revulsion, hurt, betrayal, and terror that was part of my dream-self's experience. "he" was, in fact, unfaithful, and my dreams were reminding me how horrible that experience was going to continue to be while I put up with it.

The other night I had another dream about infidelity (different partner entirely). In it, the circumstances were much the same but I felt entirely different. I remember throwing a tomato and walking to my car, driving away, and I felt sad, but strong, and proud. I think that's a "got there" dream, one I have when I'm stressing over whether I'm strong enough to handle something awful if it arises. I realize I've "got there" and may even be compelled to throw fruit if it ever happens again.

I try to write my dreams down in my journal as quickly as possible, before I lose the fine emotional details that are so telling for me. What do you think your dreams are trying to get you to do, see, or feel?

At the very least, you're dreaming. That means you're attaining deep, REM sleep and getting some rest. I know some people who never get to that sleep level....always tired.

HealthyLimits

I remember feeling frustrated and tired of the whole mess. I remember wondering why everybody can't see things at face value. I grabbed my father by his neck, pinned him down and told him that he has no clue what the reality of the situation really his and I remember he looked so tiny and afraid. I think me grabbing him like that was because in reality he avoids everything and in my dream it was a way to not allow him to do that.

I woke up with some affirmation and peace I'm not longer dealing with their dysfunction. I was happy to be away from that mess.

GiveLove

Interesting, the "tiny and afraid" part. I'd be curious how you felt right at that scene in the dream. I'm no dream therapist, but if I had that dream, and I'd finally felt empowered and in control when I made my dad afraid of me, that would be pretty interesting material to explore in my journal. The relief part, of course, is self-explanatory.....

This from someone who didn't get around to setting "healthy limits" until she was almost 40....

Dreams are ALWAYS a good thing for me, even when they're not technically good ones and I wince while I'm writing them down...

denny57

I had a similar dream to this over a year ago, but it was my mother. It set me on a path of compassion for her and the choices she made. There are many things I am still dealing with in that area of my life, but for the first time after that I saw my mother for what she was: a fearful human being, just like me.

I absolutely believe in the power of dreams.

Freedom1990

I find I usually have dreams like that where I'm stuffing feelings/anxiety again (which I still have a tendency to do).

BUTTERFLY-7

Hi:HealthyLimits,here is a little something for you to Understand more


'Dream On"

Learn more about yourself and your behavior through dream Interpretation.
For those who choose to explore their dreams, the truth is out there.
What do your dreams reveal?


There is no such thing as "just a dream."
Even if you wake up thinking a dream means nothing, or if you cannot
remember your dream at all, your dream self never fails to send messages-
in a constant effort to support and guide you.

These messages are beneficial; they are your brain's ways of helping you-
improve various areas of your life.With practice, you can learn how to-
explore your dreams fully and apply them to your life, using them for Ideas-
advice,encouragement, and inspiration,In fact,dreams have been-
credited throughout history as the sources of discoveries, inventions,
inspirations,warnings, and cures.

In recent times,medical and scientific breakthroughs such as
The Discovery of Insulin were the results of information given in dreams.
Even Albert Einstein claimed a dream inspired his theory of relativity.

You are your own best dream reader.Because your dream self is speaking-
to you, it strives to get the messages across in symbols and scenes-
that you can relate to personally.

And that is the secret--the key that unlocks your world of dreams.
Your dream symbols are not meaningless or sent to confuse you.
They are made up of elements of your life experiences.
Your dreams self wants you to understand your dreams and tries to-
communicate with you in ways you will understand.

When you learn the language of your dreams and figure out how your-
mind uses associations, symbols, and figures of speech, you can discover-
the meanings of your dreams.

Show your dream self that you are interested in learning your personal-
dream language.

Respect your dreams and place value on them.Your dream self is like-
an acquaintance you occasionally converse with.
If you show an interest in the conversations, they will become more-
engaging and your acquaintance will offer more detail and information.

Make your dream self more than an acquaintance;make it your friend.
Your dreaming mind can help you tap into talents and abilities-
you may not be aware you possess.

With dream interpretation,you can learn more about yourself-
and your behavior. You can reduce stress in your life,gain insight-
into personal problems,find ways to solve problems,and enhance your-
creative abilities, In working with your dreams, you will gain more-
confidence as you learn more about yourself.

"So Dream On!"