Curve Ball
Rediscovering myself
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 231
<<<AH currently "smoothing it over" by cooking dinner tonight... called to tell me about it too.
Fair warning... When my AH falls off the wagon it's all MY fault. If it weren't for [fill in the blank] he wouldn't drink. Don't let her send you on a guilt trip.
Fair warning... When my AH falls off the wagon it's all MY fault. If it weren't for [fill in the blank] he wouldn't drink. Don't let her send you on a guilt trip.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,017
Originally Posted by Reddmax 
The weird thing about all of this is that she hasn't had any withdrawal symptoms as of this morning, or they may be masked by her flu. I don't know.
Redd
My bro only shows signs of withdrawals at about day 4, and it's always when theres some kind of trauma that he doesnt want to deal with, he does it to show us how well he's doing and get the parents worried and on red alert and divert attention from whatever it is that he doesn't want to deal with. It works every time for my parents, it's wearing thin on me now though. So thin it doesn't matter to me if it ever happens for real or not anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 596
Originally Posted by Reddmax
A intervention would make her go nuclear, so to speak. She has this overwhelming need to hide things from other people. Her self image is so fragile, that anything (even things outside her drinking) that contradicts that image is a threat that must be destroyed. It leads to some behavior that is totatlly nuts.
One of the possible things that she might be doing today is moving out. Not that it matters, but its the sort of thing she might do.
Redd
One of the possible things that she might be doing today is moving out. Not that it matters, but its the sort of thing she might do.
Redd
Your AW isn't going to move out. I highly doubt it. She can't keep her act together right now. Her job will be next. She NEEDS you!!!! What will everyone think if she winds up divorced again?? Won't people ask? Will the word get out? How will she live if she gets fired? What other options does she have other than to rotate between crying, threatening you, scaring you, begging you and making ridiculous attempts to stop for a day to get you to stay scared and stay put while she continues drinking?
She's working you.
And my AH never exhibited withdrawal symptoms either.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wales
Posts: 523
Mine told me he had cancer, it worked for a while i went back, he had xmas and new year with me, and all the love and attention he wanted. Then when he thought i was hooked he told me the doctors told him the toumour was not cancerous.
that was his last attempt of manipulation, and the last time i saw him. dont be fooled by anything she does. Bless you
gill
that was his last attempt of manipulation, and the last time i saw him. dont be fooled by anything she does. Bless you
gill
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
I don't understand. Where is there a "curve ball" in this scenario? From what you have posted, it appears to me that you are living with an addict. She behaves the way addicts behave.
Whether you have the suspicion that she is scared or not is a moot point. She is an addict who is active in her addiction.
She is not committed to her recovery? From what I've read, she does not have a recovery, nor does she desire one.
So you wanted to know how this weekend will play out and you wanted to know if other A's have behaved this way as a manipulation technique. Armed with that knowledge, what changes will that make?
You have every right to intellectualize addiction. However, researchers are still trying to do that, and coming up with various answers. I know, having been married to two addicts, that all the knowledge in the world with which I was equipped ABOUT THEM did diddly-squat for my own recovery.
Whether you have the suspicion that she is scared or not is a moot point. She is an addict who is active in her addiction.
She is not committed to her recovery? From what I've read, she does not have a recovery, nor does she desire one.
So you wanted to know how this weekend will play out and you wanted to know if other A's have behaved this way as a manipulation technique. Armed with that knowledge, what changes will that make?
You have every right to intellectualize addiction. However, researchers are still trying to do that, and coming up with various answers. I know, having been married to two addicts, that all the knowledge in the world with which I was equipped ABOUT THEM did diddly-squat for my own recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
Originally Posted by prodigal
I don't understand. Where is there a "curve ball" in this scenario? From what you have posted, it appears to me that you are living with an addict. She behaves the way addicts behave.
Whether you have the suspicion that she is scared or not is a moot point. She is an addict who is active in her addiction.
She is not committed to her recovery? From what I've read, she does not have a recovery, nor does she desire one.
So you wanted to know how this weekend will play out and you wanted to know if other A's have behaved this way as a manipulation technique. Armed with that knowledge, what changes will that make?
You have every right to intellectualize addiction. However, researchers are still trying to do that, and coming up with various answers. I know, having been married to two addicts, that all the knowledge in the world with which I was equipped ABOUT THEM did diddly-squat for my own recovery.
Whether you have the suspicion that she is scared or not is a moot point. She is an addict who is active in her addiction.
She is not committed to her recovery? From what I've read, she does not have a recovery, nor does she desire one.
So you wanted to know how this weekend will play out and you wanted to know if other A's have behaved this way as a manipulation technique. Armed with that knowledge, what changes will that make?
You have every right to intellectualize addiction. However, researchers are still trying to do that, and coming up with various answers. I know, having been married to two addicts, that all the knowledge in the world with which I was equipped ABOUT THEM did diddly-squat for my own recovery.
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