savingmaggie

Today I finally picked up the phone after getting call after call both at home and at work with the determination of telling him it was over and why. I told him that I could not continue with the way things were. That his alcoholism was too difficult to live with and I did not want to see my life look the same 5 years from now....that it had robbed me of who I am...what I need...how I feel...and that I was becoming just as sick as he and his daughter are...my addiction was in fixing them.. I said that he worries about his daughter dying from her addiction...well I worry he will too and there is not a thing I can do about it...but to let go and let life happen as it is meant to happen...

I got very emotional and said to him that I have been told over and over again not to lay anything more on him when trying to talk to him about how I feel...in other words suck it up because there is no room for your needs...your pain...your problems...now let's get back to my mess...

he started to cry and said he had no idea how deep this went...he said thank you for talking to me...I told him I tried so many times and it was seen as an added burden on his already burdened life.....and now that's it's too late he is willing to listen...

I left him crying on the phone but I am glad I said what needed to be said....even though I got emotional I feel I got some of my power back..

Thanks for letting me share

Maggie

GiveLove

Maggie,

I'm sorry this has been so hard on you, but I'm glad you were given this chance to express how you felt. It has been all about him for so long. And yes, they always magically "figure it out" when they stand to lose everything (that lasts for a few weeks if you get back together, and then amnesia sets in....)

Hugs to you
GL

NeedHappiness

Maggie, I know that was VERY hard for you to do. It was hard for me too. It is still hard when you see them break down. I must agree with GiveLove though......if you give in, in a few weeks they conveniently "forget" that conversation.
Keep your chin up. It WILL get better. Time will heal.

FormerDoormat

GiveLove is right on the money. The tears are a manipulation tool. Nothing more. But still it's hard to see a grown man fall apart. That's why I chose to stop looking. And listening. For me, it was the only way out.

Lilyflower

My exabf was upset when we split too. 6 months later, he is apparently living a very happy existance, still drinking, but apprarently not an A anymore - ok, whatever! Living with his dad and step mom as he doesn't have a home, in and out of work, and has met a whole new bunch of friends who have yet to come to understand his addictions, and who most probably in all likelyhood, share them.

Keep moving forward for you and your life, Maggie, you have taken a brave step forward!

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx